tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67989283094688267702024-03-05T05:04:34.021-08:00Stupidity - and - HumilityMartha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.comBlogger81125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-74481835414775524582015-12-26T09:02:00.002-08:002015-12-28T18:12:18.796-08:00New Year's Resolution....RESOLVED!!!!!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEithQTrXc2ni6Zr31GOGHJOQVo0TuUUQijGxxWfntatWQ8EbdWTOEwbwRJqweWaM5VqQOw38Xpf0OlTjr19P_3UFuaTdbQ3gxSz5x8w6J_6_G2gvaDffyxMxTdpDxFWjHu6mK8IrQCgG7lv/s1600/books.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEithQTrXc2ni6Zr31GOGHJOQVo0TuUUQijGxxWfntatWQ8EbdWTOEwbwRJqweWaM5VqQOw38Xpf0OlTjr19P_3UFuaTdbQ3gxSz5x8w6J_6_G2gvaDffyxMxTdpDxFWjHu6mK8IrQCgG7lv/s400/books.jpg" width="400" /></a>Last December I discovered the goodreads annual reading challenge. You set the number of books you want to read throughout the new year and the counter keeps track of your progress, as you enter in the books you've read. It makes it a sort of game, and it became addicting. I set my goal to be 36 books for the year, 3 books a month, thinking it was an ambitious but doable goal. I ended up completely exceeding that goal and read 55 books this year!<br />
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This is the first time I've ever read so many books and it's been the best year of my life. I hardly ever get bored since I always have something to do, and I hardly ever feel lonely since the authors and characters keep me company. I have always felt that reading is really a conversation, with the author so eagerly and eloquently sharing their thoughts with me. Remembering the person behind the book, I am always amazed and honored that words on a page allow me to defy place and time, to sit and have a conversation with great minds.<br />
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Tricks that helped me read more:<br />
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<ol>
<li>Ebooks are really my savior. I think people who still prefer paper books are crazy. I really don't think I could have read so much without the use of ebooks.</li>
<li>I ALWAYS have books on hand, and some to spare. I always have an audiobook and ebook on my phone, and an ebook on my iPad, sometimes extra ebooks in case I finish one and want to start the next one right away. It is also always safe to have a paper book on hand in case your phone or tablet dies or you just can't use them to read for some reason.</li>
<li>Audiobooks. Having an audiobook on hand makes walking, driving, or commuting with public transportation so much easier. I'd say if you have to do any commuting or menial labor regularly for at least 15-20 minutes at a time, then audiobooks are right for you. I have an hour commute to work everyday, and I love it. Traffic doesn't even bother me because that just gives me more time to listen and finish up the audiobook.</li>
<li>Good fiction. I actually had to put a cap on how much fiction I allowed myself to read, since I began to neglect the more weighty books and just breeze through fiction. I think reading fiction is really the best thing to turn a non-reader into a reader.</li>
<li>Shorter books. If I ever fell behind on my monthly goal, or was reading a really long book, I'd pick up shorter books to help me along.</li>
<li>BUILD YOUR LIBRARY FROM THE START! I already had a million ebooks and audiobooks downloaded and already had an idea of what I wanted to read. I never had to waste time trying to figure out what to read next. And because I have such a huge selection which I'm constantly adding to, I always feel the urgency to keep reading.</li>
</ol>
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Almost every single one of the 55 books I read in 2015 I would highly recommend. In particular, once I enjoy a book by a certain author, I tend to try to read all of the works of that author. I guess you could say I fall in love with that person's mind. In my next few posts, I will give author/book recommendations for various different topics.<br />
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I HIGHLY recommend everyone to check out the <a href="http://goodreads.com/">goodreads.com</a> reading challenge and set a goal for yourself this coming new year!!! (And add me as a friend so we can encourage each other!)</div>
Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-27207390069981972052015-12-01T18:24:00.000-08:002015-12-02T09:10:54.499-08:00A Contemplation on ChildrenC.S. Lewis named G.K. Chesterton as one of the writers that deeply influenced him, particularly his book <i>The Everlasting Man</i>. Reading him, I can see why. Chesterton is definitely one of the most original and ingenious authors I've ever read. I'm in the process of working my way through all his writings. Recently I've been reading <i>The Wit and Wisdom of Chesterton</i>, and one chapter is entitled, "In Defense of Baby-Worship." In this little reflection Chesterton explains how we would greatly benefit from looking at adults in the same way we look at children. This chapter very much spoke to me since my sister recently had a baby, and since it brought me to reminisce on times watching my other nieces and nephews grow.<br />
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A good narration of the chapter is on Librivox (just 8 minutes long):<br />
<a href="http://ia800307.us.archive.org/35/items/witwisdom_chesterton_1205_libivox/witandwisdomofchesterton_05_chesterton.mp3">http://ia800307.us.archive.org/35/items/witwisdom_chesterton_1205_libivox/witandwisdomofchesterton_05_chesterton.mp3</a><br />
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Here is the text:<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The two facts which attract almost every normal person to children are, first, that they are very serious, and, secondly, that they are in consequence very happy. They are jolly with the completeness which is possible only in the absence of humour. The most unfathomable schools and sages have never attained to the gravity which dwells in the eyes of a baby of three months old. It is the gravity of astonishment at the universe, and astonishment at the universe is not mysticism, but a transcendent common-sense. The fascination of children lies in this: that with each of them all things are remade, and the universe is put again upon its trial. As we walk the streets and see below us those delightful bulbous heads, three times too big for the body, which mark these human mushrooms, we ought always primarily to remember that within every one of these heads there is a new universe, as new as it was on the seventh day of creation. In each of those orbs there is a new system of stars, new grass, new cities, a new sea. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
There is always in the healthy mind an obscure prompting that religion teaches us rather to dig than to climb; that if we could once understand the common clay of earth we should understand everything. Similarly, we have the sentiment that if we could destroy custom at a blow and see the stars as a child sees them, we should need no other apocalypse. This is the great truth which has always lain at the back of baby-worship, and which will support it to the end. Maturity, with its endless energies and aspirations, may easily be convinced that it will find new things to appreciate; but it will never be convinced, at bottom, that it has properly appreciated what it has got. We may scale the heavens and find new stars innumerable, but there is still the new star we have not found--that on which we were born. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
But the influence of children goes further than its first trifling effort of remaking heaven and earth. It forces us actually to remodel our conduct in accordance with this revolutionary theory of the marvellousness of all things. We do (even when we are perfectly simple or ignorant)--we do actually treat talking in children as marvellous, walking in children as marvellous, common intelligence in children as marvellous. The cynical philosopher fancies he has a victory in this matter--that he can laugh when he shows that the words or antics of the child, so much admired by its worshippers, are common enough. The fact is that this is precisely where baby-worship is so profoundly right. Any words and any antics in a lump of clay are wonderful, the child's words and antics are wonderful, and it is only fair to say that the philosopher's words and antics are equally wonderful. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The truth is that it is our attitude towards children that is right, and our attitude towards grown-up people that is wrong. Our attitude towards our equals in age consists in a servile solemnity, overlying a considerable degree of indifference or disdain. Our attitude towards children consists in a condescending indulgence, overlying an unfathomable respect. We bow to grown people, take off our hats to them, refrain from contradicting them flatly, but we do not appreciate them properly. We make puppets of children, lecture them, pull their hair, and reverence, love, and fear them. When we reverence anything in the mature, it is their virtues or their wisdom, and this is an easy matter. But we reverence the faults and follies of children. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
We should probably come considerably nearer to the true conception of things if we treated all grown-up persons, of all titles and types, with precisely that dark affection and dazed respect with which we treat the infantile limitations. A child has a difficulty in achieving the miracle of speech, consequently we find his blunders almost as marvellous as his accuracy. If we only adopted the same attitude towards Premiers and Chancellors of the Exchequer, if we genially encouraged their stammering and delightful attempts at human speech, we should be in a far more wise and tolerant temper. A child has a knack of making experiments in life, generally healthy in motive, but often intolerable in a domestic commonwealth. If we only treated all commercial buccaneers and bumptious tyrants on the same terms, if we gently chided their brutalities as rather quaint mistakes in the conduct of life, if we simply told them that they would 'understand when they were older,' we should probably be adopting the best and most crushing attitude towards the weaknesses of humanity. In our relations to children we prove that the paradox is entirely true, that it is possible to combine an amnesty that verges on contempt with a worship that verges upon terror. We forgive children with the same kind of blasphemous gentleness with which Omar Khayyam forgave the Omnipotent. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The essential rectitude of our view of children lies in the fact that we feel them and their ways to be supernatural while, for some mysterious reason, we do not feel ourselves or our own ways to be supernatural. The very smallness of children makes it possible to regard them as marvels; we seem to be dealing with a new race, only to be seen through a microscope. I doubt if anyone of any tenderness or imagination can see the hand of a child and not be a little frightened of it. It is awful to think of the essential human energy moving so tiny a thing; it is like imagining that human nature could live in the wing of a butterfly or the leaf of a tree. When we look upon lives so human and yet so small, we feel as if we ourselves were enlarged to an embarrassing bigness of stature. We feel the same kind of obligation to these creatures that a deity might feel if he had created something that he could not understand. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
But the humorous look of children is perhaps the most endearing of all the bonds that hold the Cosmos together. Their top-heavy dignity is more touching than any humility; their solemnity gives us more hope for all things than a thousand carnivals of optimism; their large and lustrous eyes seem to hold all the stars in their astonishment; their fascinating absence of nose seems to give to us the most perfect hint of the humour that awaits us in the kingdom of heaven.</blockquote>
Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-13095547639713036412015-10-24T14:48:00.000-07:002015-10-24T20:10:44.074-07:00Beautiful Words from a Female LifterThis is taken from a post on the Starting Strength website forum:<br />
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To be 100% clear, her point is that it's not about the weight loss. The point is not the vanity. The point is to stop being afraid of finding out what you're capable of. The point is developing a skill, and tapping into your athletic potential. Yes, the author is a woman who was once overweight and now weighs less than me, but this is about her strength journey, not her weight loss journey.<br />
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"Lost 13 inches of bellyfat, 67 lbs and learned to meditate."<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Things at the gym have changed quite a bit in a little over a year. When I began the Starting Strength program I couldn’t perform an un-weighted squat, and when my coach wasn’t there I would all but get run off of the equipment. It’s been a while now since anyone has tried to give me unwanted advice or interfered with my workouts, even when training alone. Now, in between sets, I get asked about my program and lift technique. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
After I answered a couple of her questions, a younger and overweight woman replied that what I was doing would not work for her. It would, of course, make her bigger and bulkier, and I could not possibly understand because I didn’t know what it was like to have a weight problem. She is smaller than I was when I first started training and her trying to skinny shame me was hard to wrap my head around. It is beginning to sink in; I am no longer the fat chick trying to do squats. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
I used to meditate in a quiet room with candles and incense searching for calm and discipline. That was fine, and l cherish my quiet candled room. However calm focus is needed every day in life and life is seldom quiet. I meditate now when I am under the bar. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The harnessing of the mind and the body, breath held and all the noise in your head stops and the only thing that exists is you and the weight. In all my years working in the “Alternative Health Field” I have sought the mind body connection, the grounding, the centeredness, with only slight success. Now I am beginning to understand, beginning to understand why I lift, how simple life really is. All the candles in the world aren’t going to teach you that type of focus and discipline. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
I have noticed in my business dealings I am viewed differently, approached differently, and their opinion is much less important than before. I navigate there the same way I do in the weight room. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Several of my friends train with me now, all women. Others interest in what I simply saw as me getting healthy is humbling. 210lbs girls don’t think people are interested in them working to lose their ‘fish bowl’ as my friend so lovingly calls hers. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
62 weeks of strength training have flown by. My most recent program was the Texas Method and it saw me through my Great Grandmother’s fast decline, her death, and a car wreck. It also pushed me to my 1 rep squat PR of 225. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
This is not where I saw this trip taking me. And why I decided to listen to that strong old guy is most days beyond me. I do know that now I am stronger than I have ever been. I dropped 13 inches off my waist and close to 5 inches off each thigh. I weigh 143 lbs., lighter than I have been since I was 12 years old. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Rarely am I asked how I got stronger. Much more often I am asked how I lost so much weight and kept it off. It doesn’t matter, the advice is the same. Buy the book and do what it says.</blockquote>
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<a href="http://startingstrength.com/resources/forum/testimonials/60172-continuance-lost-13-inches-bellyfat-67lbs-learned-meditate.html">http://startingstrength.com/resources/forum/testimonials/60172-continuance-lost-13-inches-bellyfat-67lbs-learned-meditate.html</a>Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-79309934053398695702015-09-08T09:59:00.001-07:002015-09-08T09:59:53.393-07:00HumilityI recently finished a little book entitled <i>Humility </i>by Andrew Murray. It was a great read which emphasized the root of all evil as pride and the root of all holiness as humility.<br />
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It is only 100 pages, but the chapters cover the fundamentals of humility. It has chapters about Christ's examples and teaching of humility in the Gospels, and examples of the disciples' humility (and lack-thereof). <br />
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Murray also explains how humility/pride is manifested in one's daily life and extremely relevant to one's every thought and interaction with others.<br />
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He also explains how humility is central to faith in God (only if you are humble can you completely put your trust in God) and how humility fundamentally means "death to self" and a deep recognition and understanding of yourself as nothing.<br />
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Murray ends with how humility leads to true human happiness and exaltation in God.<br />
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I highly recommend this eloquent book if one wants to understand why humility should be the sole focus of one's Christian life.<br />
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Below are a few amazing excerpts from this book:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
I cannot too earnestly plead with my reader, if possibly his attention has never yet been specially directed to the want there is of humility within him or around him, to pause and ask whether he sees much of the spirit of the meek and lowly Lamb of God in those who are called by His name. Let him consider how all want of love, all indifference to the needs, the feelings, the weakness of others; all sharp and hasty judgments and utterances, so often excused under the plea of being outright and honest; all manifestations of temper and touchiness and irritation; all feelings of bitterness and estrangement, have their root in nothing but pride </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Listen to the words in which our Lord speaks of His relation to the Father, and how unceasingly He uses the words not, and nothing, of Himself. The not I, in which Paul expresses his relation to Christ, is the very spirit of what Christ says of His relation the Father. "The Son can do nothing of Himself" (John 5: 19) "I can of My own self do nothing; My judgment is just, because I seek not Mine own will" (John 5: 30) "I receive not glory from men" (John 5: 41) "I am come not to do Mine own will" (John 6:38) "My teaching is not Mine" (John 7:16) "I am not come of Myself" (John 7:28) "I do nothing of Myself" (John 8:28) "I have not come of Myself, but He sent Me" (John 8: 42). "I seek not Mine own glory" (John 8:50) "The words that I say, I speak not from Myself" (John 14: 10). "The word which ye hear is not Mine" (John 14: 24). </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
It was because this humility was not only a temporary sentiment, wakened up and brought into exercise when He thought of God, but the very spirit of His whole life, that Jesus was just as humble in His intercourse with men as with God. He felt Himself the Servant of God for the men whom God made and loved; as a natural consequence, He counted Himself the Servant of men, that through Him God might do His work of love. He never for a moment thought of seeking His honor, or asserting His power to vindicate Himself. His whole spirit was that of a life yielded to God to work in. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Brethren, here is the path to the higher life. Down, lower down! This was what Jesus ever said to the disciples who were thinking of being great in the kingdom, and of sitting on His right hand and His left. Seek not, ask not for exaltation; that is God's work. Look to it that you abase and humble yourselves, and take no place before God or man but that of servant; that is your work; let that be your one purpose and prayer. God is faithful. Just as water ever seeks and fills the lowest place, so the moment God finds the creature abased and empty, His glory and power flow in to exalt and to bless. He that humbleth himself -- that must be our one care -- shall be exalted; that is God's care; by His mighty power and in His great love He will do it. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
In striving after the higher experiences of the Christian life, the believer is often in danger of aiming at and rejoicing in what one might call the more human, the manly, virtues, such as boldness, joy, contempt of the world, zeal, self-sacrifice,--even the old Stoics taught and practiced these,--while the deeper and gentler, the diviner and more heavenly graces, those which Jesus first taught upon earth, because He brought them from heaven; those which are more distinctly connected with His cross and the death of self,--poverty of spirit, meekness, humility, lowliness,-are scarcely thought of or valued<br />
In the creature, humility is the one thing needed to allow God's holiness to dwell in him and shine through him. In Jesus, the Holy One of God who makes us holy, a divine humility was the secret of His life and His death and His exaltation; the one infallible test of our holiness will be the humility before God and men which marks us. Humility is the bloom and the beauty of holiness. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Humility and faith are more nearly allied in Scripture than many know. See it in the life of Christ. There are two cases in which He spoke of a great faith. Had not the centurion, at whose faith He marveled, saying, "I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel!" spoken, "I am not worthy that Thou shouldst come under my roof"? And had not the mother to whom He spoke, "O woman, great is thy faith!" accepted the name of dog, and said, "Yea, Lord, yet the dogs eat of the crumbs'? It is the humility that brings a soul to be nothing before God, that also removes every hindrance to faith, and makes it only fear lest it should dishonor Him by not trusting Him wholly. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Look not at pride only as an unbecoming temper, nor at humility only as a decent virtue: for the one is death, and the other is life; the one is all hell, the other is all heaven.</blockquote>
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Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-17012150057132114042015-08-06T10:13:00.000-07:002015-08-06T10:16:37.920-07:00Physical StrengthI just finished reading <i>Starting Strength</i> by Mark Rippetoe, an incredible strength training author and coach. Though the rest of the book goes into meticulous detail concerning the proper form and biomechanics of barbell training, the first chapter begins with an eloquent passage concerning the necessity of physical strength even in this day and age. After reading it, you will see why I fell in love with him immediately. Emphasis is my own:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTeh7Etrre0i5DHhoOAh7KPg6WvaeCOq0BfRpc_YTndQxNYJMGnOnuzNoG83zddhHVQdC9JJEI9C6BRIkRT2xjKCHJeA2DYpfvTrio6oGQrTDxb-AlMUPTAfavTw6FPnGqk8TCf5U6ndmC/s1600/starting-strength-smh_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTeh7Etrre0i5DHhoOAh7KPg6WvaeCOq0BfRpc_YTndQxNYJMGnOnuzNoG83zddhHVQdC9JJEI9C6BRIkRT2xjKCHJeA2DYpfvTrio6oGQrTDxb-AlMUPTAfavTw6FPnGqk8TCf5U6ndmC/s320/starting-strength-smh_1.jpg" width="320" /></a>Physical strength is the most important thing in life. This is true whether we want it to be or not. As humanity has developed throughout history, physical strength has become less critical to our daily existence, but no less important to our lives. <b>Our strength, more than any other thing we possess, still determines the quality and the quantity of our time here in these bodies. </b>Whereas previously our physical strength determined how much food we ate and how warm and dry we stayed, it now merely determines how well we function in these new surroundings we have crafted for ourselves as our culture has accumulated. But we are still animals - our physical existence is, in the final analysis, the only one that actually matters. <b>A weak man is not as happy as that same man would be if he were strong. This reality is offensive to some people who would like the intellectual or spiritual to take precedence. It is instructive to see what happens to these very people as their squat strength goes up.</b><br />
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As the nature of our culture has changed, our relationship with physical activity has changed along with it. We previously were physically strong as a function of our continued existence in a simple physical world. We were adapted to this existence well, since we had no other choice. Those whose strength was adequate to the task of staying alive continued doing so. This shaped our basic physiology, and that of all our vertebrate associates on the bushy little tree of life. It remains with us today. The relatively recent innovation known as the Division of Labor is not so remote that our genetic composition has had time to adapt again. Since most of us now have been freed from the necessity of personally obtaining our subsistence, physical activity is regarded as optional. Indeed it is, from the standpoint of immediate necessity, <b>but the reality of millions of years of adaptation to a ruggedly physical existence will not just go away because desks were invented.</b><br />
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<b>Like it or not, we remain the possessors of potentially strong muscle, bone, sinew, and nerve, and these hard-won commodities demand our attention.</b> They were too long in the making to just be ignored, and we do so at our peril. They are the very components of our existence, the quality of which now depends on our conscious, directed effort at giving them the stimulus they need to stay in the condition that is normal to them. Exercise is that stimulus.<br />
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Over and above any considerations of performance for sports, exercise is the stimulus that returns our bodies to the conditions for which they were designed. Humans are not physically normal in the absence of hard physical effort. <b>Exercise is not a thing we do to fix a problem - it is a thing we must do anyway, a thing without which there will always be problems.</b> Exercise is the thing we must do to replicate the conditions under which our physiology was - and still is - adapted, the conditions under which we are physically normal. In other words, exercise is substitute caveman activity, the thing we need to make our bodies, and in fact our minds, normal in the 21st century. And merely normal, for most worthwhile humans, is not good enough.</blockquote>
Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-24856385329117529732015-05-08T13:24:00.000-07:002015-05-08T13:24:19.906-07:00A Rare Speech by MLKA friend of mine recently brought to my attention one of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s lesser known speeches, "Beyond Vietnam." His critique of the government's actions and how it affects people at home, as well as the state of America into the far future, is still extremely relevant and applicable. It is a very powerful speech and extremely quotable, so I decided to share a few amazing passages.<br />_______________________________________________________________________________<div>
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"There is at the outset a very obvious and almost facile connection between the war in Vietnam and the struggle I and others have been waging in America. A few years ago there was a shining moment in that struggle. It seemed as if there was a real promise of hope for the poor, both black and white, through the poverty program. There were experiments, hopes, new beginnings. Then came the buildup in Vietnam, and I watched this program broken and eviscerated as if it were some idle political plaything on a society gone mad on war. And I knew that America would never invest the necessary funds or energies in rehabilitation of its poor so long as adventures like Vietnam continued to draw men and skills and money like some demonic, destructive suction tube. So I was increasingly compelled to see the war as an enemy of the poor and to attack it as such."<br /><br />"Perhaps a more tragic recognition of reality took place when it became clear to me that the war was doing far more than devastating the hopes of the poor at home. It was sending their sons and their brothers and their husbands to fight and to die in extraordinarily high proportions relative to the rest of the population. We were taking the black young men who had been crippled by our society and sending them eight thousand miles away to guarantee liberties in Southeast Asia which they had not found in southwest Georgia and East Harlem. So we have been repeatedly faced with the cruel irony of watching Negro and white boys on TV screens as they kill and die together for a nation that has been unable to seat them together in the same schools. So we watch them in brutal solidarity burning the huts of a poor village, but we realize that they would hardly live on the same block in Chicago. I could not be silent in the face of such cruel manipulation of the poor."<br /><br />"Here is the true meaning and value of compassion and nonviolence, when it helps us to see the enemy’s point of view, to hear his questions, to know his assessment of ourselves. For from his view we may indeed see the basic weaknesses of our own condition, and if we are mature, we may learn and grow and profit from the wisdom of the brothers who are called the opposition."<br /><br />"We must be prepared to match actions with words by seeking out every creative method of protest possible."<br /><br />"It is with such activity that the words of the late John F. Kennedy come back to haunt us. Five years ago he said, “Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.”"<br /><br />"we as a nation must undergo a radical revolution of values. We must rapidly begin [applause], we must rapidly begin the shift from a thing-oriented society to a person-oriented society. When machines and computers, profit motives and property rights, are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of racism, extreme materialism, and militarism are incapable of being conquered."<br /><br />"A true revolution of values will soon cause us to question the fairness and justice of many of our past and present policies. On the one hand we are called to play the Good Samaritan on life’s roadside, but that will be only an initial act. One day we must come to see that the whole Jericho Road must be transformed so that men and women will not be constantly beaten and robbed as they make their journey on life’s highway. True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar. It comes to see than an edifice which produces beggars needs restructuring."<br /><br />"This call for a worldwide fellowship that lifts neighborly concern beyond one’s tribe, race, class, and nation is in reality a call for an all-embracing and unconditional love for all mankind. This oft misunderstood, this oft misinterpreted concept, so readily dismissed by the Nietzsches of the world as a weak and cowardly force, has now become an absolute necessity for the survival of man."<br /><br />"We still have a choice today: nonviolent coexistence or violent coannihilation."<br /><br />"If we do not act, we shall surely be dragged down the long, dark, and shameful corridors of time reserved for those who possess power without compassion, might without morality, and strength without sight."<br /><br />The full text and audio can be found here: <a href="http://mlk-kpp01.stanford.edu/index.php/encyclopedia/documentsentry/doc_beyond_vietnam/">http://mlk-kpp01.stanford.edu/index.php/encyclopedia/documentsentry/doc_beyond_vietnam/</a></div>
Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-10411150210583498192015-05-06T09:47:00.000-07:002015-05-06T09:50:42.015-07:00An Ode to FriendsThis life is a tunnel with no light at the end, only Someone assuring us that if we keep walking, we will get out of it. This tunnel is a maze that we can only hope we are getting better at solving and closer to exiting.<br />
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Friends are little candles along the way. Some last longer than others before they go out, and sometimes we ourselves are candles that last for different periods of time for others. It feels wonderful to have a candle, and it feels wonderful to be a candle.<br />
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Sometimes we can be candles for one another, and therefore have a flame and light that burns twice as strong.<br />
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These candles do not always lead us along this maze in the best possible way, but they always help us understand this maze a little better. And they are often better to have than wandering on our own in the dark.<br />
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Sometimes, these candles are so helpful, that we actually begin to enjoy the maze, even when we mess up.<br />
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Sometimes the candle burns all the way to the end. Sometimes a candle goes out but can reignite at a different time, and perhaps many times over.</div>
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These little flickers of light, while not themselves the light that we hope is at the end, comfort us, remind us, and give us a little taste of that overwhelming, beautiful, radiant light that we faithfully anticipate together. We must remind each other of that light. We must revel together in the thought of that light. But we must not settle for the current, tiny, albeit immediate light that is one another, and lose sight of that light that we cannot see, but which has been promised to us.</div>
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This tunnel is dark, damp, confusing, with scary sounds resounding against the walls, with dangers and obstacles to overcome. But how much joy a little candle in the hand, with wax dripping, warming and hardening all over it, can bring.</div>
Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-16965417985949726842015-03-31T19:11:00.002-07:002015-04-27T12:52:17.135-07:00Does the Devil really exist?I've been reading <i>Of Water and the Spirit: A Liturgical Study of Baptism</i> by Fr. Alexander Schmemann for Lent, which is the first book Fr. Athanasius Farag recommends on the topic of baptism. (Schememann was also Fr. Tom's father-in-law by the way :,-) ) This book is mind blowing. It is a very short book, only 150 pages, and yet in so few words it makes everything begin to make sense. One section in particular has been very enlightening for me, the section in which he discusses the prayer of the renunciation of the devil in the baptismal liturgy. It is so clear and helpful that I wanted to share some excerpts of it.<br />
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Here is one that discusses the Orthodox concept of evil/demons/Satan/dark powers:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The "modern man,” even an Orthodox, is usually quite
surprised when he learns that the baptismal liturgy begins with words addressed
to the Devil. The Devil indeed has no place in his religious outlook; he
belongs to the panoply of medieval superstition and to a grossly primitive
mentality. Many people, including priests, suggest therefore that exorcisms simply
be dropped as "irrelevant” and unbecoming to our enlightened and "modern” religion. As for the
non-Orthodox, they go even further: they affirm the need to "demythologize”
the New Testament itself, to "liberate” it from an antiquated worldview—of
which "demonology” is precisely an essential expression—which only
obscures its authentic and eternal message. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
It is not our purpose to outline, even superficially, the
Orthodox teaching concerning the Devil. In fact, the Church has never
formulated it systematically, in the form of a clear and concise
"doctrine.” What is of paramount importance for us, however, is that the
Church has always had the experience of the demonic, has always, in plain
words, <i>known the Devil. </i>If this direct knowledge has not resulted in a
neat and orderly doctrine, it is because of the difficulty, if not
impossibility, rationally to define the irrational. And the demonic and, more
generally, <i>evil </i>are precisely the reality of the irrational. Some
theologians and philosophers, in an attempt to explain and thus to
"rationalize” the experience and the existence of evil, explained it as an
<i>absence: </i>the absence of good. They compared it, for example, to
darkness, which is nothing but the absence of light and which is dispelled when
light appears. This theory was subsequently adopted by deists and humanists of
all shades and still constitutes an integral part of our modern worldview. Here
the remedy against all evil is always seen in "enlightenment” and
"education.” For example: explain to teenagers the mechanics of sex,
remove the "mystery” and the "taboos,” and they will use it rationally,
i.e. <i>well. </i>Multiply the number of schools and man, who is naturally
good, will <i>ipso facto </i>live and behave rationally, i.e. <i>well.</i></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Such however is certainly not the understanding of evil in
the Bible and in the experience of the Church. Here evil is most emphatically <i>not
</i>a mere <i>absence. </i>It is precisely a <i>presence: </i>the presence of
something dark, irrational and very real, although the origin of that presence
may not be clear and immediately understandable. Thus hatred is not a simple absence
of love; it is the presence of a dark power which can indeed be extremely
active, clever and even creative. And it is certainly not a result of
ignorance. We may <i>know </i>and hate. The more some men knew Christ, saw His
light and His goodness, the more they hated Him. This experience of evil as
irrational power, as something which truly takes possession of us and directs
our acts, has always been the experience of the Church and the experience also
of all those who try, be it only a little, to "better”
themselves, to oppose "nature” in themselves, to ascend to a more
spiritual life. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Our first affirmation then is that there exists a demonic
<i>reality: </i>evil as a dark power, as presence and not only absence. But we
may go further. For just as there can be no love outside the "lover,” i.e.
a person that loves, there can be no hatred outside the "hater,” i.e. a
person that hates. And if the ultimate mystery of "goodness” lies in the
person, the ultimate mystery of evil must also be a personal one. Behind the
dark and irrational presence of evil there must be a <i>person </i>or <i>persons.
</i>There must exist a personal world of those who have chosen to hate God, to
hate light, to be <i>against. </i>Who are these persons? When, how, and why
have they chosen to be against God? To these questions the Church gives no precise answers. The deeper the reality, the
less it is presentable in formulas and propositions. Thus the answer is veiled
in symbols and images, which tell of an initial rebellion against God within
the spiritual world created by God, among angels led into that rebellion by <i>pride.
</i>The origin of evil is viewed here not as ignorance and imperfection but, on
the contrary, as knowledge and a degree of perfection which makes the
temptation of pride possible. Whoever he is, the "Devil” is among the very
first and the best creatures of God. He is, so to speak, perfect
enough, wise enough, powerful enough, one can almost say <i>divine </i>enough,
to know God and not to surrender to Him—to know Him and yet to opt against Him,
to desire freedom from Him. But since
this freedom is impossible in the love and light which always lead to God and
to a free surrender to Him, it must of necessity be fulfilled in negation,
hatred and rebellion. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
These are, of course, poor words, almost totally inadequate
to the horrifying mystery they are trying to express. For we know nothing about
that initial catastrophe in the spiritual world— about that hatred against God
ignited by pride and that bringing into existence of a strange and evil reality
not willed, not created by God. Or rather, we know about it only through our
own experience of that reality, through our own experience of evil. This
experience indeed is always an experience of <i>fall: </i>of something precious
and perfect deviated from and betraying its own nature, of the utterly unnatural
character of that fall which yet became an integral and “natural” part of our
nature. And when we contemplate evil in ourselves and outside ourselves in the
world, how incredibly cheap and superficial appear all rational explanations, all
"reductions” of evil to neat and rational theories. If there is one thing
we learn from spiritual experience, it is that evil is not to be
"explained” but faced and fought. This is the way God dealt with evil. He
did not explain it. He sent His Only-Begotten Son to be crucified by all the powers
of evil so as to destroy them by His love, faith and obedience.</blockquote>
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Here is another, discussing the relevance of the act of renunciation:<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
When this rite of renunciation came into existence, its meaning
was self-evident to the catechumen as well as to the entire Christian
community. They lived within a pagan world whose life was permeated with the <i>pompa
diaboli, </i>i.e. the worship of idols, participation in the cult of the
Emperor, adoration of matter, etc. He not only knew what he was renouncing;
he was also fully aware to what a "narrow way," to what a difficult
life—truly "non-conformist” and radically opposed to the "way of
life” of the people around him— this renunciation obliged him. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
It is when the world became "Christian” and
identified itself with Christian faith and Christian cult that the meaning of
this renunciation began to be progressively lost so as to be viewed today as an
archaic and anachronistic rite, as a curiosity not to be taken seriously.
Christians became so accustomed to Christianity as an integral part of the
world, and to the Church as simply the religious expression of their worldly
"values,” that the very idea of a tension or conflict between their
Christian faith and the world faded from their life. And even today, after the
miserable collapse of all these so-called "Christian” worlds, empires,
nations, states, so many Christians are still convinced that there is nothing basically
wrong with the world and that one can very happily accept its "way of
life,” all its values and "priorities,” while fulfilling at the same time
one's "religious duties.” Moreover, the Church herself and Christianity
itself are viewed mainly as aids for achieving a successful and peaceful
worldly life, as spiritual therapy resolving all tensions, all conflicts,
giving that "peace of mind” which assures success, stability, happiness. The very idea that a Christian has to <i>renounce
</i>something and that this "something” is not a few obviously sinful and
immoral acts, but above all a certain vision of life, a "set of
priorities,” a fundamental attitude towards the world; the idea that Christian
life is always a "narrow path” and a fight: all this has been virtually
given up and is no longer at the heart of our Christian worldview. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The terrible truth is that the overwhelming majority of Christians
simply do not see the presence and action of Satan in the world and, therefore,
feel no need to renounce "his works and his service.” They do not discern
the obvious idolatry that permeates the ideas and the values by which men live
today and that shapes, determines and enslaves their lives much more than the
overt idolatry of ancient paganism. They are blind to the fact that the
"demonic” consists primarily in falsification and counterfeit, in
deviating even positive values from their true meaning, in presenting black as
white and vice versa, in a subtle and vicious lie and confusion. They do not
understand that such seemingly positive and even Christian notions as
"freedom” and "liberation,” "love,” "happiness,”
"success,” "achievement,” "growth,” "self-fulfillment”—
notions which truly shape modern man and modern society, their motivations and
their ideologies—can in fact be deviated from their real significance and
become vehicles of the "demonic.” </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
And the essence of the demonic is always <i>pride, pompa diaboli.
</i>The truth about "modern man” is that whether a<i> </i>law-abiding
conformist or a rebellious non-conformist, he is<i> </i>first of all a being
full of pride, shaped by pride, worshiping<i> </i>pride and placing pride at
the very top of his values. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b>To renounce Satan thus is not to reject a mythological being
in whose existence one does not even believe. It is to reject an entire
"worldview” made up of pride and self affirmation, of that pride which has
truly taken human life from God and made it into darkness, death and hell. </b>And one can be sure that Satan will not forget this
renunciation, this rejection, this challenge. "Breathe and spit upon him!”
A war is declared! A fight begins whose real issue is either eternal life or
eternal damnation. For this is what Christianity is about! This is what our
choice ultimately means! </blockquote>
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Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-83999019330946763182015-03-20T19:40:00.000-07:002015-03-22T20:58:57.257-07:00Honor Fr. Thomas Hopko with 4 Hours of Your Time<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM20HfJIlGOi9_dYqk-a_2pSQ5u4BH9svAjXUD1GXdbrHuiCGcbpAZ7UwFHGa87Ect7Hqup_0y7fOd3GYuk1aEUt3FjyELE00lS9rgTKoZPzURmp7VUgmy0caqcmIe-40IB29PHthZKGoi/s1600/IMG_0474.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM20HfJIlGOi9_dYqk-a_2pSQ5u4BH9svAjXUD1GXdbrHuiCGcbpAZ7UwFHGa87Ect7Hqup_0y7fOd3GYuk1aEUt3FjyELE00lS9rgTKoZPzURmp7VUgmy0caqcmIe-40IB29PHthZKGoi/s1600/IMG_0474.JPG" height="400" width="265" /></a>Our beloved father, Fr. Thomas Hopko, passed away two days ago, on Wednesday, March 18, 2015. He has been such an impactful spiritual father to so many of us, despite most of us never having met him.<br />
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I grew up listening to him, since he was one of my dad's professors and a good friend of his at St. Vladimir's Seminary, and so his teachings are laced throughout my entire understanding of our Orthodox faith. One lecture in particular was life changing for me, "Sin: Primordial, Generational, Personal."<br />
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Thank God he was extremely prolific in making podcasts on Acient Faith Radio. I think the best way we can honor him is to make his teachings known and accessible to many more people, and for many more generations to come. <b>One way to do this is to transcribe his podcasts.</b> I've transcribed podcasts before, and his podcasts are each about an hour long, and so to transcribe one podcast would take about 4 hours of labor in total, writing/playing back/editing/etc. <b>If you transcribe 15 minutes at a time, you could very easily finish this project within four days.</b><br />
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Not only will transcribing his podcasts make them more accessible, but by the time you finish transcribing one podcast, you will practically have it memorized. Everything he says is made of gold, and his thoughts are so clear and thoroughly explained that this is no doubt going to be an amazing spiritual exercise, especially in these last few weeks before Lent is over.<br />
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318 of his lectures/podasts on Ancient Faith Radio need transcription, from 2006 to this year. <b>If 318 people volunteer, this project could be done within a few weeks.</b><br />
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I created a spreadsheet with the title, description and link to every podcast that needs transcription. You can pick which one you want to transcribe and sign up there. The spreadsheet has 4 pages (you click on the tab at the bottom to switch between pages), for his series "Speaking the Truth in Love," for "Worship in Spirit and Truth," for his lectures at the Orthodox Institute conference in 2011, and for miscellaneous lectures give by him.<br />
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So, how can you get started? Here is what you should do:<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>Listen to one of his podcasts for your enjoyment</li>
<li>If you like one of them, think about when you can set aside 4 hours of your time, and sign up for that podcast on the spreadsheet: <a href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1rE7WasIVx5YHh2UgOTECrpqJI-bsknRGz_YSAxAwp0Y/edit?usp=sharing">https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1rE7WasIVx5YHh2UgOTECrpqJI-bsknRGz_YSAxAwp0Y/edit?usp=sharing</a></li>
<li>Read the transcribing guidelines: <a href="http://www.ancientfaith.com/files/uploads/AFR-TranscriptStyleGuide.pdf">http://www.ancientfaith.com/files/uploads/AFR-TranscriptStyleGuide.pdf</a></li>
<li>Start typing!</li>
<li>Send it in to Ancient Faith Radio: webmaster@ancientfaith.com</li>
<li>When they post it, update the spreadsheet with the link to your transcript.</li>
</ol>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">PLEASE SHARE THIS AS WIDELY AS POSSIBLE!</span></b>Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-54636797444755602842015-03-03T18:11:00.000-08:002015-04-07T09:53:22.775-07:00Lost in the world of fitness supplements?There is nothing more confusing out there than health and fitness supplements, even if it is your basic whey protein powder or your basic multivitamin. There are so many damn companies claiming to be your most effective supplement choice, and all of them have sponsored athletes that look great and use all their products. Then there is the ingredients labels. What the hell is all this stuff? You might try to look up each ingredient individually but all you'll end up with is, uhh I guess it's okay? But who the hell knows? Are the combinations good? Are the proportions good?<br />
<br />
I have been supplementing with protein powder almost on a daily basis for five years now, ever since I started lifting with little 5 pound dumbbells in my dorm room. In terms of protein powders, I've used whey, egg, casein, and vegan powders. I've also used various vitamin and mineral supplements (multivitamins, calcium, vitamin D, vitamin B complexes, Vitamin E, iron, whatever else), pre-workout supplements, protein bars, fish oil, BCAA's, melatonin, and a ton of random stuff that I've gotten free at the gym or that come as free samples when you buy these supplements.<br />
<br />
It has been a long confusing road in figuring out what is useful and what is healthy. I am still trying to educate myself as much as possible, but so far my go-to references are:<br />
<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">1) <a href="http://examine.com/">Examine.com</a></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">2) <a href="http://labdoor.com/">Labdoor.com</a></span></b></div>
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Examine.com will give you information on ingredients and general supplement analyses. It looks at scientific research studies and grades the supplement based on the robustness of the research done and the amount of supporting evidence.<br />
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If after reading up on the various ingredients and types of supplements, you decide to take one, next comes figuring out which company to buy from.<br />
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Labdoor.com will give you information on which companies are best to purchase from. It independently tests the product's label accuracy, purity, nutritional value, ingredient safety, and projected efficacy.<br />
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If you're in this health and fitness thing for the long haul, chances are you either already are or will eventually be taking some sort of supplement. If you want to understand what you're putting in your body, you can ask your doctor, look at best seller lists, read Amazon reviews, and ask your friends, and still none of that will be enough. You will need to continuously look at objective and reliable references, and so far Examine.com and Labdoor.com are best that I've found. Check them out, if only to enjoy learning about the biochemistry.</div>
Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-78274946008466348142015-02-07T10:10:00.000-08:002015-02-07T11:32:50.705-08:00Rethinking an Oppressive Social PracticeA social convention that I think needs to be modernized is looking down on farting and blessing for sneezing. We now know that you can get people sick with your sneezes, and you can control your sneezes. But farting doesn't get people sick, and you can't control them, and when you do try to hold them in you cause yourself great discomfort. When they come out, your physical relief is replaced with psychological torture, hoping people don't realize its you who farted if its silent, or several moments of embarrassment if it makes a noise and is obviously from you. You don't really get relief from sneezing, the noise is disturbing, and you could potentially cause other people several days of bed riddenness. Why do we reward such a practice with a blessing? Why don't we instead rejoice at the relief of another person?<br />
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Modern society has come very far. Oppressive practices like slavery have ended, women can now receive an education, work, and make a difference in the world. But this convention oppresses everyone and probably has the greatest practical influence on our day to day lives.<br />
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This practice is especially oppressive for women, because of the sexist concept of it being "unlady-like" (I still have no idea what that means). Women are already subject to so much day to day physical discomfort, from having to submit to a higher expectation of not farting, to wearing heels, to trying to suck your stomach in and pretend you're thinner than you actually are, or worse, wearing a corset, which is basically a torture chamber for your internal organs. All of those things probably even increase the pressure for the fart to come out and make it harder to hold it in.<br />
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Everyone would benefit from such a social revolution. Maybe we would all just be happier people. Even if I never have to fart again, I would still be more at peace with the world, knowing that I would be accepted and not ostracized simply for being human. If someone farts, instead of being disgusted with them, I could take it as a way of them announcing to me, "It's okay, I'm human too. You can be yourself." And I could smile at them and take it as a gesture of love rather than offense. Do we not already see it as a sacred rite of passage in romantic relationships? When you have accepted each other and are finally comfortable enough to fart in one another's presence?<br />
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Maybe farting technology would have progressed long ago if we were simply honest and open about this reality. Maybe they would have invented pills or underwear that make your farts smell good, and so every time someone farts it is a pleasant surprise. Or maybe we would have figured out a way to turn it into reusable energy. But instead we brush it under the rug and suffer as a community, and as a globe. Why must we see it as a problem when it can be a solution?<br />
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This was written while trying to hold in a fart (or a few) while in the quiet room at the library.Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-73401695690027118702015-01-22T10:25:00.002-08:002015-01-22T10:26:16.225-08:00You Should Stop Reading My BlogI am so utterly thankful and honored that there are people who read my blog. There is so much content out there on the internet, and yet you choose to engage with me and entertain my thoughts. But I cannot deny that you do have to set aside some of your time to read my posts, which may be hit or miss, while there is plenty of other content out there that is more beneficial to read. So the least I could do for you, my beloved readers, is direct you toward other blogs that are much better than my own.<br />
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One of my favorite blogs is Fr. Stephen Freeman's blog "Glory to God for All Things." He updates much more consistently than I do and has infinitely better thoughts to share. So, hypothetically speaking, if you had to pick, you should stop reading my blog and read his. It will be quite an upgrade.<br />
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Any one of his posts is a worthwhile read, but to start with, his most recent post is "Saved in Weakness." This post is relevant as Lent is fast approaching, one in which he speaks about confession and repentance. Another huge plus is that he uses some excerpts from one of the most amazing books of all time, <i>The Way of the Pilgrim</i>.<br />
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Here is the link to his blog and his post "Saved in Weakness":<br />
<a href="http://blogs.ancientfaith.com/glory2godforallthings/2015/01/21/saved-weakness/">http://blogs.ancientfaith.com/glory2godforallthings/2015/01/21/saved-weakness/</a><br />
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I love you and I don't want you to leave me, but if you leave me for him, I will understand.<br />
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Enjoy!Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-8888131624720490712015-01-14T16:57:00.000-08:002015-01-15T08:08:32.192-08:00Boredom During LiturgyI stood during Nativity liturgy, lamenting my inability to focus. I already let most of the liturgy pass me by, in one ear and out the other. How am I going to go the rest of the night like this? I decide to try something. I look at the page number we were on, and the last page number of the book. Fifty pages of English text to go. Hm, that's not as bad as I thought. Then I think, okay, what is the hardest part of liturgy? What part feels like it just drags on and on? It's the Seven Short Litanies. Okay, when it comes to the seven short litanies, I will count them on my hand.<br />
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The litanies come. As each one is said, I count them off. It flies by, and I'm startled by how short each prayer is.<br />
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I continue to try to pay attention to the flow of the liturgy, and how each prayer is different and has its purpose. It struck me how each prayer is so powerful and succinct. What I thought was nauseatingly long turned out to be a super short crash course in the theology of the church.<br />
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It seemed like the heavens opened that night. After 22 years, God finally decides to answer my prayer for the first time. Is it possible I could go to church without dreading the four hours ahead of me? Is it possible to pay attention the whole time, yes, the whole time, rather than intermittently shifting in and out of consciousness at random points throughout the liturgy?</div>
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Before, there were only two things I would try to do to force myself to focus during the service. One is what Abouna has always taught us about prayer. When you're in church, you leave all your problems and worries at the door. It's not a time to let your mind wander and worry about what you're going to do after church, or how badly you're going to fail for procrastinating so much, or why is that person staring at me, or does this boy like me, or how could that person talk to me like that do they know who I am? It's not even a time for personal prayer, it's a time to participate in the communal prayer of the church, with His body, and around His Body. This method is a matter of brute force. Every time I'd catch myself not paying attention, I'd bring my mind back to the prayer and try to really believe what we were saying. But that did not make it any easier to enjoy the prayer or prevent my mind from inevitably wandering again.</div>
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The other rule of thumb for focusing is to pay attention to the prayer and try to actually pray it. During the litanies, if we are praying for the sick, think of the people I know who are sick, so that that "Kyri eleison" actually means something. Doing that also helps, but nonetheless is not a sustainable focus-enhancing method.</div>
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So, what is the divine inspiration that seized me and caught me up into the third heaven, you ask? What is this high spiritual insight that I've received, that will make every Sunday different, rather than the same monotonous words every time? That will make you ecstatic to get out of bed, antsy for church to start, and sobbing when it ends?</div>
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A gym analogy will help me explain.</div>
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Just like going to the gym, you can't just walk in having no idea what to do and with just the vague notion of "this is what I'm supposed to do to get fit." You can't expect to get a good workout in by wandering around bsing on a bunch of machines until you're bored and waiting for an hour to pass by so you can tell yourself you spent an hour at the gym and deserve some chocolate cake. When I go to the gym I know exactly what exercises I'm going to do, in exactly what order, and exactly how many reps, sets, and how much rest in between. I am able to pace my energy and focus, giving my all in each rep yet not losing sight of what is next. I have a solid grasp on the flow of my workout, and am fully conscious of what I should be focusing on during each exercise, knowing good form, knowing proper breathing, etc. I also am fully aware that this is a process that will incrementally make me stronger, as long as I give it my all day in and day out. I could be doing exactly the same chest routine for months on end, but it is always different, because I am always trying to push more weight. The same routine is constantly changing me.<br />
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Likewise with liturgy, I realized I had no idea what I was doing or saying. Liturgy starts, my conscious brain shuts off and goes into autopilot, I mouth the responses on cue, take communion, and leave with the realization "I know I was there, but I have no idea what happened these last four hours." I go to church with a vague notion of why I should be doing this, with no deep connection or conviction that this is exactly the prescription that I must follow to constantly become a better person. The prayers are said in the same order every time, but I don't really know why they are in that order or how they differ from each other in any meaningful way. But perhaps if I had the same sort of exact knowledge of the liturgy as I do of my workouts, the same words would be new for me each time.</div>
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What I did during Nativity liturgy is try to have a proper grasp on exactly what is going on in the liturgy. I've attended thousands of liturgies during my life, have all the words memorized, but I hardly have the order memorized, and I hardly have the purpose memorized. Of course it is going to drag on if at any point, I have no idea exactly how much has passed and how much is left to go. Of course focusing is going to be a laborious task, if I have no idea how to pace myself.</div>
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I've never taken a course in liturgy or even read a book about it. But just paying attention to the progression of the liturgy and seeing it's unique component parts as unique component parts, rather than a giant combination of words that come between the beginning and the end, made the liturgy so much more enjoyable and manageable.<br />
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Several years ago Fr. Athanasius gave us an outline of the liturgy. I think if I learn the outline and get a good grasp on its order, I won't fall victim so easily to the petty concerns that clamor for my attention. Maybe these same words will actually start to change me.<br />
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Here is a link to the pdf of the outline: <a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6QWO-WCIbVEck15X3B2a0pWa2s/view?usp=sharing">https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6QWO-WCIbVEck15X3B2a0pWa2s/view?usp=sharing</a><br />
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Please comment with anything you find helps you focus!Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-73720823205136757142015-01-02T19:02:00.002-08:002015-01-02T20:05:16.120-08:00Tips for New Year's ResolutionsI think it is rather naive when people set a million different resolutions for themselves for the new year, especially when they do not have a plan that will enable them to feasibly reach them. But picking a few goals that are simple yet will provide a huge payout is certainly a worthy endeavor. Here are two goals that I would consider to be among the most worthy and practical resolution's one could have.<br />
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Goodreads does a reading challenge every year that I just discovered: <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/challenges/3082-2015-reading-challenge">https://www.goodreads.com/challenges/3082-2015-reading-challenge</a> and the benefits of finishing a whole book--not just reading tons of short bits of writing--cannot be underestimated.<br />
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I've signed up for the challenge, to read 36 books this year, about three books a month. I picked this goal because I'm normally reading three books at the same time: some literary fiction, something in health and fitness, and something philosophical/theological/spiritual. I think it is a useful challenge to pose towards oneself, even if your goal is only to finish one book this year. If you've never been much of a reader and if reading one book is your goal, you will probably exceed that challenge and discover that you had no idea how much you were capable of reading, let alone how much you could actually come to enjoy it.</div>
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Another resource that may be useful is Jamie Eason's Livefit Trainer: <a href="http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/jamie-eason-livefit-trainer.html">http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/jamie-eason-livefit-trainer.html</a> This was the program that I followed which introduced me to lifting. And now, several years later, I might be considered a seasoned lifter. If anyone has a resolution to get more fit this year and to make fitness a permanent part of one's lifestyle, this is a great program to follow.<br />
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If you have any other ideas on worthy resolutions and useful resources, please share in the comments!</div>
Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-81992105387667854302014-12-29T12:05:00.000-08:002014-12-29T12:05:52.690-08:00Frodo and the Theotokos<i>(This post was written last Advent)</i><br />
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We are in the midst of the beautiful Advent season, the 43 day period before we celebrate the nativity of our Lord, and a period during which all the church hymns bring our minds to wonder at the mystery of the incarnation and its glorious salvific work for humankind. The second Hobbit movie also just came out. Naturally since my brother and my sister Mary are obsessed with Tolkien, I went to see it, and it inspired me to finally read the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings books.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzhhsyZ815dZDHcs9-AenZATrNGS5OGRgb2p8xPiELGtAywQa90nx8SERuN6BfidPQ5_-QX1j2gEvNiBUUxrTWCI8XMDKSKBc1HP8iTioZDRUZlN3vl228cfKI9sn8XvMhFtX8Io-SFobA/s1600/Vladimir+Icon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzhhsyZ815dZDHcs9-AenZATrNGS5OGRgb2p8xPiELGtAywQa90nx8SERuN6BfidPQ5_-QX1j2gEvNiBUUxrTWCI8XMDKSKBc1HP8iTioZDRUZlN3vl228cfKI9sn8XvMhFtX8Io-SFobA/s320/Vladimir+Icon.jpg" height="320" width="251" /></a>I recently finished the Hobbit and The Fellowship of the Ring, and since we are in Kiahk, Frodo reminded me of St. Mary. This humble little being had to bear the burden of the One Ring, always struggling against yielding his heart to covet its power. As owner of the Ring, he could have worn it and used its power, but he knew that he was not strong enough to use its power for good, and that simply lusting for such power meant that his heart was already bent toward evil. He struggled constantly, not to let his heart submit to its evil. Some days the burden was so heavy he had to be carried, some days it was light.<br />
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It seems the same could be said of the Theotokos St. Mary. She was given the greatest honor of all human beings, the highest power any human being could ever attain, to be the Mother of God. We see the struggles of Christ with Satan, during His temptation, and in His final hours in the Garden of Gethsemane, but we do not know of St. Mary's struggles. Yet surely Satan must have tempted her heart to be filled with pride, realizing her purity, realizing that she is and will always be the only human being ever bestowed with such an honor and responsibility. Pregnancy is hard enough, yet imagine on top of that having to deal with the fact that you are going to bear the Son of God. Forget about pregnancy, what about after Christ was crucified and resurrected, knowing that your Son rose from the dead and has conquered all things. I doubt the devil left her alone; he probably desired the downfall of St. Mary most after the downfall of Christ. She must have experienced the worst spiritual struggle of any human being. But we know, she passed the test.Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-69380106454527545742014-11-26T21:42:00.003-08:002014-11-27T08:10:26.966-08:00Thanksgiving in 2014So I realized I've been doing Thanksgiving wrong all these years. Instead of trying to reflect on everything I could possibly be thankful for in life, I think a more effective approach would be to narrow the focus and reflect on what I am thankful for in the past year.<br />
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So, this past year, that answer is pretty damn straightforward and easy. Almost exactly a year ago was the day I broke my hip. It was actually probably the best experience of my life and I'm still learning from it. I really thank God for that fateful day and all the blessings it continues to bring me.<br />
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Recovery was a very slow and humbling process. I went from super fitness girl whose body enabled her to do anything, to basically the paralytic whose body enabled her to do nothing. I was on crutches for four months, and during that time the muscles in my leg atrophied so much that at one point my right leg was half the size of my left leg. The first few weeks out of the hospital were really difficult, and that is when I was most mad at God for taking away everything I worked so hard for. But I used the down time to further my fitness goals, reading even more fitness articles, making plans for what I would do when I'm better, and taking advantage of the knowledge of my physical therapists by learning as much as I possibly could from them.<br />
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Now, I still can't believe that only a year later, when I am still technically recovering, I've achieved fitness feats I hadn't even dreamed of achieving. I feel like Abraham when God told him to sacrifice Isaac, at first so bewildered and confused at His will, but putting my faith in Him, I ended up bountifully rewarded. I really believe I would not be capable of what I am now if I did not have the motivation provided by my injury propelling me forward.<br />
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The gym was fun before, it was my sanctuary, it was my escape from the world. But now it is something so much better. I really feel like every workout is a gift from God that could easily be taken away in a moment. It is no longer my escape from the world, since He permanently branded reality onto my body, but rather a time to remember that none of this strength comes from me but is a gift He gives me to enjoy. And remembering that it is His strength and not mine is probably why I am so much stronger now than I was before.<br />
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This is the case with everything I could possibly take for granted. I might get frustrated with school, but He didn't have to give me this opportunity to expand my intellect and He could take it away any moment. I might get fed up with friends or family, but He didn't have to give me these people who help me and teach me and provide me with so much love. He didn't have to give me this life to experience all the pain and pleasures and hardships and hopes. In truth, this is not my life, it is His. It is all a gift, and it is all His, bountifully lent to us and meant to be appreciated as sacred.<br />
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I still have some pain and setbacks because of my injury. But I endure them with pleasure and gratitude. How could I not welcome a glorious reminder that my life belongs to Him?<br />
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Other reflections on my injury: <a href="http://stupidityandhumility.blogspot.com/2014/04/reflections-on-being-bionic-woman.html">http://stupidityandhumility.blogspot.com/2014/04/reflections-on-being-bionic-woman.html</a><br />
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Other times trying to be thankful this year: <a href="http://stupidityandhumility.blogspot.com/2014/09/first-day-of-school-joy.html">http://stupidityandhumility.blogspot.com/2014/09/first-day-of-school-joy.html</a>Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-83171093135524345072014-11-22T19:48:00.000-08:002014-11-22T19:48:04.016-08:00Singles NegativityI think this issue sincerely needs to be addressed, especially among young single Coptic women.<div>
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Can we just stop pitying ourselves? Can we stop being so insecure thinking that we are never going to find good men? Can we stop thinking there is no such thing as a real man anymore who will make a good father and husband? Can we stop thinking that making yourself attractive means being forced to be fake? Can we stop thinking that God is not guiding our lives and does not want good gifts for His children? And can we stop thinking that the problem is completely outside of us?</div>
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A friend getting engaged or married should not make you insecure and loath yourself. You should just be genuinely happy for them. Marriage is a tough path meant for salvation, and you think salvation is an easy thing? There is a reason St. Paul said it is worked out with fear and trembling. They have a long road of beating the flaws out of each other and struggling to raise kids in a confused and tumultuous and ungodly world. The grass is not always greener on the other side. The moment you have a "woe-is-me-why-does-no-one-like-me" thought, use that as a trigger to say a prayer for them and snap back to reality.</div>
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Don't think your complaining about loneliness and feeling like there is no one out there for you doesn't affect anyone. It oozes out and makes all your fellow sisters second guess their contentedness. Not only that, but the more we have a negative view of men, the more blind we will become to seeing the good men.</div>
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Regardless of how stupid the men are around us, let us be thankful that they exist. God didn't make a mistake putting them here. And the single most important and effective thing we can do is pray for them. It is freaking hard being a real man in this society when all it wants to do is stunt your growth. God wants their salvation, wants what is best for them, and wants to guide their hearts obviously more than anyone, so who am I to wag my finger and look up at the sky with skepticism at His work?</div>
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Let's be THANKFUL for this time in our lives where we can focus on our own individual flourishing. Christ told us to take the planks out of our own eyes first. May God never send any man my way until I am spiritually mature and prepared to raise children in His fear.</div>
Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-64768801514882320482014-10-18T14:17:00.001-07:002014-10-21T09:28:56.842-07:00Secular MoralityIn my Intro to Philosophy class freshman year, my philosophy professor gave us a thought experiment (he did not make up this thought experiment; it is a standard thought experiment in philosophy of ethics):<br />
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Two siblings, brother and sister, go on vacation together to France. They are having a good time and decide, why don't we have sex? The sister is on birth control, and the brother wears a condom just in case. They decide they will only do it this one time, and they won't tell anyone, it will just be their secret. Afterward, they enjoy it and feel it even brought them closer, but they decide not to do it again. Is what they did wrong?<br />
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Evidently the thought experiment is getting at, what is wrong with incest? If it is consensual and has no risk of pregnancy and child deformity, do we really have any reason to claim it is morally wrong? The implication that the moral nihilist would make is that our conception of right and wrong are simply ingrained evolutionary emotional attitudes toward some actions. Actions in and of themselves are not right/wrong, and therefore, though we might react with repudiation at this thought experiment, we have no grounds for claiming that incest in all cases is wrong. Clearly in this case, it is not wrong.<br />
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I propose that this conclusion is only possible in a secular society. Our commonplace conception of right and wrong are incompatible with secularism. Secularism replaces our commonplace conceptions with only two things that may be universally agreed to be wrong. These are the only "secular sins":<br />
1) An act that is not consensual<br />
2) An act which is bad for your health<br />
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Think about the only things that are indisputably wrong. Rape is universally accepted as wrong simply because it is not consensual, but a book like <i>50 Shades of Grey</i> that portrays sado-masochistic sex is popularized and widely accepted. Smoking or other addictive drugs are considered wrong because we have garnered enough evidence to suppose they are bad for your health, but substances like steroids or marijuana are fine despite the psychological addiction; alcohol is fine despite the fact that many people can't relax and socialize without it. Sex without contraception is wrong because you might give or get an STI, but otherwise premarital sex is seen almost as essential to life. One might even be able to make an argument that abortion is not wrong because the couple or the woman did not really "consent" to have a baby.<br />
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We as Christians are going down the dubious path of redefining our moral considerations in terms of these secular sins. Think about any time you had to defend your reason for thinking something is wrong. Did you appeal to one or both of these principles? But that is not what Christianity is about. <br />
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(I would add that there might be a third "secular sin," a sort of "sin of omission": not making money. There are plenty of people and industries that make money in dishonorable ways, but if they are productive members of the economy, then they are doing a good to society, who are we to question them. But if you are not economically successful, you are being a burden to society, and you are looked down upon. But that is more debatable and is perhaps a result of capitalism and not necessarily secularism.)<br />
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The case where these two principles are in conflict is euthenasia (assisted suicide), and that is why it is still a disputed issue. On the one hand, it is consensual. On the other hand, someone is dying, albeit to end pain and suffering, so it is clearly "bad" for someone's health. What further objective reasons can one give for considering assisted suicide wrong in a secular society? To say it is wrong would mean to appeal to a whole different level of inherent sanctity or value of human life for which secularism itself is not sufficient ground.<br />
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I am not saying secularism is wrong. I would say that Christianity necessitates secularism. We as Christians believe it is unreasonable to expect non-Christians to live according to Christian standards, otherwise, what would be the point in baptism or communion? If we had that expectation, we would be denying the necessity of Christ. We also believe that faith should be freely chosen. But I am saying that secularism as we know it in America only allows for nothing more than these two moral claims to be universally made.Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-45338659761749325842014-10-06T13:43:00.001-07:002014-10-06T13:43:33.674-07:00Great Talk on Mental IllnessOn Friday I happened to attend the college youth meeting at East Brunswick and Mena Mirhom, a psychiatrist, gave a really good talk on mental illness.<br />
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He gave a really useful way of evaluating negative circumstances in one's life. If you are going through a rough time, or if a friend of your's is going through a rough time and seeks your advice, the source of the problem is most likely one of three things:<br />
1) It could just be a temporary situation, just a rough patch that will soon pass.<br />
2) It's underlying cause could be a sin, perhaps you are unknowingly bringing it upon yourself by a bad habit/way of thinking, or not taking care of your spiritual life.<br />
3) It could be indicative of an actual mental illness.<br />
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Throughout the ages the subject of mental illness has always been a touchy subject because the mind is ethereal. We know we are both material and spiritual beings, but how does the material interact with the spiritual? Though this seems to be an aspect of human nature that God has hidden from us, we as Copts luckily have both a solid spiritual foundation in God and in science and medicine. Mena therefore stressed that medicine is a gift God has given us, that the stigma against mental illness is a grave problem that needs to be openly addressed, that mental illness is actually much better studied and understood than we realize, and that being wary of this potential struggle someone may have is part of truly helping one another as a body of Christ.<br />
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Pinpointing which of these three sources is the cause of the trouble is the means to giving sound advice. And giving sound advice is not to be taken lightly: the road to hell is paved with good intentions, it's not simply the thought that counts, because bad advice, especially in spiritual matters, truly has its consequences.<br />
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The link to a recording of his talk is on his blog: <a href="http://mirhom.blogspot.com/2014/10/situation-sin-syndrome.html">http://mirhom.blogspot.com/2014/10/situation-sin-syndrome.html</a>Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-14471227918819305172014-09-27T17:04:00.001-07:002014-09-27T17:12:36.971-07:00Guest Post! "Be Confident, Small Immortals" by CoptRxI've been in touch with anonymous blogger CoptRx at <a href="http://coptrx.blogspot.com/">http://coptrx.blogspot.com/</a> and she's graciously written an awesome guest post about how medical school taught her the godly meaning of confidence. Stop by her page and enjoy the read!<br />
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Confidence. It's a trait that I've come to realize you cannot really survive medical school without.<br />
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Is confidence a "spiritual" virtue? Is it a quality that we as Copts should actively be seeking as we would the Fruits of the Holy Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, etc)? Is possessing self- confidence essential to our salvation, or the salvation of those around us? Or is it much the opposite - should we be wary of an excess of self-confidence leading us astray into pride, arrogance, and contempt for others?<br />
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When I began medical school, I was under the naive, false, and somewhat arrogant impression that, having attended one of the highest-ranked undergraduate universities in the country, I had somehow garnered a superior education. Entering medical school was like a slap in the face. Not only did I realize that I had basically learned nothing of real value in college, I also realized that I was surrounded by extremely intelligent peers who were at the same time, on the whole, quite humble. I was myself humbled by this realization, as I was also by my own shameful lack of knowledge of many things, both about medicine and also about how to be a basically decent sort of human being who could perhaps be an asset to society. <br />
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Medical school is humbling in many ways. There are SO MANY things to know about the beautiful and complex human body that God created - it is impossible to know them all. You're never "done studying" for an exam in medical school - there's always so much more to learn, and when you realize this, you are painfully aware of your own ignorance in so many dimensions. It's never fun being pimped by an attending in the hospital, especially when you have no clue what nerve innervates the gracilis muscle and have to admit as much in front of your peers. It was a rough start at the beginning of first year, realizing that what I passed off as my own "intelligence" didn't amount to much since the fact of the matter was I didn't really know anything about anything.<br />
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But that's life. That's medical school. And I'm glad (well, if not "glad" exactly, then at least "grateful") that I was beaten down, humbled, embarrassed, slapped around a bit, because once I became aware of my own enormous limitations and weaknesses, not just as a medical student but also as a friend, sister, daughter, and Copt, then somehow, paradoxically, miraculously, for the first time in my life really, I began to be confident in myself. Because I stopped trying to find any kind of justification for my own existence within myself, and started finding my inner strength from my Creator who granted my existence in the first place.<br />
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This brings me back to my original question - is confidence a "spiritual" virtue? This is probably a question better answered by one older and wiser than I. But I know that though an army encamps against me, I will not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident. I am confident that God made me as I am, that I am a sinful human being whom He will forgive when I pick myself up. Confident that I died and arose with Christ, confident that the Lord is my shield and will guide me in all my paths. Confident that what blessings I have, they have been given to me by Christ so that I may do good for others. Confident that my strength comes from the unshakable fortress that is Christ.<br />
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Do you see here that what I mean by "confidence" has nothing at all to do with "arrogance" or "cockiness?" On the contrary, when you are confident, it really displaces arrogance. Arrogance is not a manifestation of extreme confidence - it's not that self-confidence is somehow a graded scale sandwiched between humility at one extreme and arrogance at the other. Quite the opposite - I believe that arrogance is rather a shameful way of hiding the fact that one does not possess any self-confidence at all. One of my good friends has complete, 100% confidence in himself, and yet possesses not an ounce of arrogance; he is humbly aware of his own faults, and I have never witnessed him judge another human being in the time I have known him. This is the confidence I would like to have, one day, as an attending. The sort of confidence that allows room for prayer that God steadies my hand when I operate on a patient. The sort of confidence that obviates the need to beat down the residents and medical students working under me. Confidence is not pride. Confidence is as I have described above. Pride is "always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you." (C.S. Lewis).<br />
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*The title of this post, "Be Confident, Small Immortals," is a quote from Perelandra by C.S. Lewis, "Be confident small immortals. You are not the only voice that all things utter, nor is there eternal silence in the places where you cannot come."Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-27393990223061026542014-09-15T18:25:00.001-07:002014-09-16T05:50:46.686-07:00You are responsible for everything. - DostoevskyLast year I read <i>The Brothers Karamazov</i> by Dostoevsky and one of the lines in it has stuck with me ever since: "There is only one salvation for you: take yourself up, and make yourself responsible for all the sins of men. For indeed it is so, my friend, and the moment you make yourself sincerely responsible for everything and everyone, you will see at once that it is really so, that it is you who are guilty on behalf of all and for all."<br />
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I was reminded of it once again today, when a friend of mine was telling me about a lot of bad decisions she's made. It saddened me to hear it, but when I prayed for her after, I realized that perhaps God intended this as a wake up call for me. Perhaps my sinful thoughts are worse than her sinful deeds. Perhaps I am adding to the spiritual pollution we all breathe in every moment much more than her and all the people in her past combined.<br />
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Then I thought of a practical way of implementing this radical but real worldview Dostoevsky paints for us. What if every time I sin, I cause another to sin? Perhaps too often I focus on trying to convince myself that it is bad for me and bad for my relationship with God, and forget that my sin doesn't even have to be about me. We are all choking and gasping for breath in this dark grey air of pollution, and the moment I have a breath to spare, I use it on sin, and add once more to the pollution.<br />
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I think Dostoevsky would agree. Every time I sin, whether in deed or in thought or in lack of deed or lack of thought, I cause another to sin.<br />
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Some more quotes from <i>The Brothers Karamazov</i>:<br />
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Fyodor Pavlovitch was drunk when he heard of his wife's death, and the story is that he ran out into the street and began shouting with joy, raising his hands to Heaven: "Lord, now lettest Thou Thy servant depart in peace," but others say he wept without restraint like a little child, so much so that people were sorry for him, in spite of the repulsion he inspired. It is quite possible that both versions were true, that he rejoiced at his release, and at the same time wept for her who released him. As a general rule, people, even the wicked, are much more naive and simple-hearted than we suppose. And we ourselves are, too.<br />
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It is true, perhaps, that this instrument which had stood the test of a thousand years for the moral regeneration of a man from slavery to freedom and to moral perfectibility may be a two-edged weapon and it may lead some not to humility and complete self-control but to the most Satanic pride, that is, to bondage and not to freedom. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to such a pass that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love, and in order to occupy and distract himself without love he gives way to passions and coarse pleasures, and sinks to bestiality in his vices, all from continual lying to other men and to himself. The man who lies to himself can be more easily offended than anyone. You know it is sometimes very pleasant to take offence, isn't it? A man may know that nobody has insulted him, but that he has invented the insult for himself, has lied and exaggerated to make it picturesque, has caught at a word and made a mountain out of a molehill- he knows that himself, yet he will be the first to take offence, and will revel in his resentment till he feels great pleasure in it, and so pass to genuine vindictiveness. Love is such a priceless treasure that you can redeem the whole world by it, and expiate not only your own sins but the sins of others.<br />
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for love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams.<br />
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And secondly, the stupider one is, the closer one is to reality. The stupider one is, the clearer one is. Stupidity is brief and artless, while intelligence wriggles and hides itself. Intelligence is a knave, but stupidity is honest and straightforward.<br />
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Choosing “bread,” Thou wouldst have satisfied the universal and everlasting craving of humanity—to find some one to worship. So long as man remains free he strives for nothing so incessantly and so painfully as to find some one to worship.<br />
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God is not in strength but in truth.<br />
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Remember, too, every day, and whenever you can, repeat to yourself, “Lord, have mercy on all who appear before Thee to-day.” For every hour and every moment thousands of men leave life on this earth, and their souls appear before God. And how many of them depart in solitude, unknown, sad, dejected that no one mourns for them or even knows whether they have lived or not! And behold, from the other end of the earth perhaps, your prayer for their rest will rise up to God though you knew them not nor they you.<br />
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Love the animals: God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled. Do not trouble it, don't harass them, don't deprive them of their happiness, don't work against God's intent. Man, do not pride yourself on superiority to the animals; they are without sin, and you, with your greatness, defile the earth by your appearance on it, and leave the traces of your foulness after you—alas, it is true of almost every one of us! At some thoughts one stands perplexed, especially at the sight of men's sin, and wonders whether one should use force or humble love. Always decide to use humble love. If you resolve on that once for all, you may subdue the whole world. Loving humility is marvelously strong, the strongest of all things, and there is nothing else like it.<br />
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“There are moments when people love crime,” said Alyosha thoughtfully.<br />
“Yes, yes! You have uttered my thought; they love crime, every one loves crime, they love it always, not at some ‘moments.’ You know, it's as though people have made an agreement to lie about it and have lied about it ever since. They all declare that they hate evil, but secretly they all love it.”<br />
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Remember to subscribe on the right to get updates via email!</div>
Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-23383877283136885832014-09-02T07:40:00.002-07:002014-09-02T15:53:48.894-07:00First Day of School JoyToday is the first day of the fall semester. The day got off to a seemingly bad start for me, but I've come to realize that it is not the case that life is difficult and devoid of joy, but rather that the joy is right in front of me but my self pity keeps me from seeing it. When I let go of trying to use my mind to rationalize things and let God show me the answers, a sea of clarity floods my mind. So I decided to start this day with joy rather than my first world problems. If the joys in life were self evident, life would be boring. I'm thankful God forces us to dig deeper and look beyond the small inconveniences. The grander picture is so much more beautiful and astounding that way.<br />
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I slept horribly last night, but I am thankful that I have a bed to sleep on, and that I don't have any morning classes. I'm thankful I have the opportunity to sleep at night, rather than having to work a late night shift to support myself or my family. I'm thankful I slept horribly for no particular reason, rather than having some horrible thing to be worried about, like a relative in critical condition in the hospital, or having to be on call 24 hours to take care of someone, or myself being hurt in the hospital, or someone breaking into my apartment, or being frazzled from someone trying to mug or rape me on my walk home last night, or having a recent heartbreak or death in my life causing me numerous sleepless nights.<br />
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I got up at 6:30am to go to the gym, and the gym opened a half an hour late. Me and 20 other people's schedules and plans for the day were derailed because some guy didn't wake up early enough for his job. But I am thankful that I have a gym to go to, that I have health that permits me to do the exercises that I do, that I have such a good outlet and healthy way to start the day, and that it was actually a pleasant reminder that I'm not the only one in the world who screws up and inconveniences people.<br />
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I left the gym in a fabulous mood. I smiled the whole walk back home and smiled at everyone I passed. I like having a random huge smile on my face, because then people wonder what I'm thinking about. It startled most of them, but it was such a joy looking these people in the eyes and having them smile back, acknowledging and appreciating one another's existence rather than passing each other by as quickly as possible and pretending we don't realize there is another human being next to us with a life and mind and soul and desires and hopes and feelings just like ourselves.<br />
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I got ready for the day, and as I was making breakfast, I spilled coconut oil all over my favorite dress. I'm thankful I have the opportunity to make a healthy breakfast, that I have the luxury of coconut oil, and that I have a cute favorite dress, that the weather permits me to wear this dress, that I have running water readily available with which I could clean and hopefully salvage my dress, that I'm a female philosophy major and therefore the majority of my classmates and professors are male who will check me out and appreciate how good I look and drool over the fact that there is a rare female specimen in their philosophy classes. I'm also thankful that I get to fantasize about the look of awe that will appear in their faces when I say something intelligent in class.<br />
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I started frying eggs, and realized neither of my roommates nor I brought a spatula. But one of my roommates had this flat wooden spoon thing and I was able to improvise. I'm thankful that this was an opportunity to appreciate the small things in life. I've never longed for spatulas before the way I did this morning. My point of view on spatulas has been permanently altered. Frying eggs is from now on a sublime experience. I'm also thankful I got to improvise.<br />
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I then started frying bacon and the fire alarm went off. I started fanning it like a maniac, but that wasn't working. Then I saw that it actually has a silence button. I'm thankful that I have a fire alarm to protect me, that this one has a silence button, that I have a sturdy chair to put right under it in case of future similar circumstances that will no doubt occur, and that I got to show some people in my apartment complex that yeah I'm that a boss, waking up early and making breakfast and getting to set off the fire alarm while you're probably still sleeping.<br />
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Now my breakfast is sitting cold, since I decided to write this blog post before touching it. I'm thankful that I'm a pro at making delicious breakfast sandwiches, that I have food to eat, and that I have a blog to write on, and that I have some people willing to read the entirety of my ridiculous thoughts. (Subscribe on the right to get an email when I post, once ever 1-2 weeks. If you do, you will forever be engraved in my heart.)<br />
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I wonder what other inconveniences and hidden joys the rest of the day has to offer. Maybe one of my classmates will have horrible BO. Glory to God for all things! Have a wonderfully joyful day everyone!Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-86601752143461105972014-08-22T21:58:00.000-07:002014-09-04T07:20:21.518-07:00Why Stretching is Important: A Spiritual AnalogyIf you know me, you know I love lifting, you know that it is an art to me, and that I read anything and everything that will help me understand the science of lifting. I lift every day, and I dedicate more than 15 minutes of my routine to stretching. No matter what muscle group I am working that day, I stretch every single muscle every day for at least a minute each.<br />
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Why is stretching a muscle important for strengthening the muscle? The simplest way to explain it is that when you are lifting something heavy, you are contracting the muscle. The muscle needs to be able to contract well and completely, and the more "stretched out" the muscle is, the more completely and efficiently it will contract. If your muscle is not stretched out to begin with, it will have "less space" to contract, and therefore will not be strong enough to lift something heavy.<br />
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Although stretching is integral to strength training, it must be done gradually. If normally you are not flexible and then suddenly you try to stretch far beyond your range of motion, you will probably pull a muscle. To become more flexible, and consequently to get stronger, requires persistent stretching. I stretch everyday, and it is still not a pleasant experience, but I am also always getting more flexible and always getting stronger.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsEZkb0y7zYBpQU7-ZwSRzaoJQuQtS8lQffcaeEayjua7JJ_fN-3P6oiTVHR4KHHgMfuUlMGMU4DRvQODKBr3NgTmP0SmUsGVFsGuyf4n3iKsrNj08bi7VtrDp1cE18lH9wJaGbI9cgwDp/s1600/stretching.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsEZkb0y7zYBpQU7-ZwSRzaoJQuQtS8lQffcaeEayjua7JJ_fN-3P6oiTVHR4KHHgMfuUlMGMU4DRvQODKBr3NgTmP0SmUsGVFsGuyf4n3iKsrNj08bi7VtrDp1cE18lH9wJaGbI9cgwDp/s1600/stretching.png" /></a>It is the same with the spiritual life. Besides the ways we actively try to increase our spiritual strength, there are our many circumstances and predispositions which we did not choose. I frequently wonder at the things God has given me to endure, whether externally or internally caused. As I get older, He stretches me further and further, and it does not get any easier. But I know that I am getting stronger because of it.<br />
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Whenever I feel down and depressed, in a rut, like there is no way out of my problems, I always think about Job, and sometimes I go and read his story. His story gives me hope, because God stretched him far beyond anyone. He stretched him farther than He has stretched me and ever will stretch me, and He only stretched him so far because He knew he could handle it. He took away everything Job had for no apparent reason. Job knew it was not punishment for his sin, he could not possibly understand why, and the despair killed him, but he still chose not to lose sight of God. He endured the stretch, and for that reason, when he once again contracted, God let him come back twice as strong.<br />
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It is simply the way the human body works. We need to be stretched in order to get stronger.<br />
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A website all about stretching, with better explanations: <a href="http://www.stretchify.com/">http://www.stretchify.com/</a><br />
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Note: I added an email subscription option to my blog. On the right, you can enter your email address and sign up to receive my posts by email.Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-16825066235705422092014-08-07T11:16:00.001-07:002014-09-20T04:45:12.305-07:00Guest Post! Losing Sight of our Creature-hood by Monica Rizkalla<div style="text-align: left;">
I suck at most things in life, but the one thing I can always pride myself with is picking magnificent friends. I decided to share some of the genius of my friends on this blog. Here is a guest post by the lovely Monica Rizkalla who blogs at <a href="http://seek-know-love.tumblr.com/">seek-know-love.tumblr.com</a>.</div>
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<i>All the world's a stage,</i></div>
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<i>And all the men and women merely players;</i></div>
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<i>They have their exits and their entrances,</i></div>
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<i>And one man in his time plays many parts</i></div>
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-Shakespeare’s As You Like It (Act II, Scene VII)</div>
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Whether he knew it or not while writing, Shakespeare imparted to us one of the wisest themes of life in his excerpted poem above. Not only is life temporal—the world is a stage—but its inhabitants are mere ‘players’, or actors (and actresses).<br />
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On this stage, people take on many roles; one man may be a brother, father, friend, uncle, nephew, doctor or teacher. There is no one role that sets the entire stage, but the roles are simultaneously at work: “one man in his time plays many parts.”</div>
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On a more practical level, looking at the jobs of actors/actresses will give us a better idea of Shakespeare’s wisdom. A full-time actor is trained to assume a role and fulfill its duties; the gentlest and kindest of people may be hired to portray a tyrannical, ruthless dictator (Hitler, for example). And so, for 8-10 hours everyday, our kind actor must follow the protocol and do what a typical Hitler would do (besides actually killing an entire population). But after the allotted work time, our actor goes home and is himself again. He has taken off his role as one takes off a jacket; it was never a part of him, but merely something he did. Although our actor gained a lot of skills from playing such a role and thus, could not remove himself completely, he was never transformed into the dictator he was hired to portray.</div>
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A human being has many roles. My mother, for example, is simultaneously a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, doctor, servant, aunt, niece, child of God and much more. Yet these roles never define her and they should never define us.</div>
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A couple of days ago a question was raised during our church’s annual camping trip about why it is that God deprives us of good things sometimes. We all pray for our jobs, careers, relationships, etc. Why is it that were sometimes left with nothing—no second option, no third option, just nothing.</div>
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Pondering this, I’ve come to realize that God’s silence has a very sublime purpose. It helps us refocus on the purpose of life and where we fit in.</div>
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First and foremost, we are God’s creation. We are, very literally, made up of him. He is our breath and our life. And so, very literally, we are nothing without him.</div>
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After being his creation, we are the many roles that social and communal life grant us. We can be mothers, fathers, friends, siblings, teachers, lawyers, doctors, pharmacists, students, etc. But these are all roles. Before you were a professional, you were a creation of God. Before you were a friend, you were a creation of God. From the dawn of conception, you were a creation of God. Being a creation of God is not a role; rather, it is the core of our identity because it is the only thing that does not depend on human achievement. A mother without kids is no longer a mother; a wife without a husband is not a wife; a friend without friends is not a friend; a doctor without a degree is not a doctor. However, a person with nothing and no one is still and always will be a creation of God, fashioned after Him. Everything and everyone else are mere accessories to this great reality.</div>
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If everything in life is an accessory, then not having a job right now or not being granted the good things you asked for is, likewise, an insignificant detail to this great and sublime reality.</div>
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Life is never that simple for us because our reality is distorted. For us, being a creation of God is the accessory and everything else is the bulk of who we are and why we’re here. And in this distorted reality, we are subject to the whimsical nature of circumstances, the fickle kindness and imperfect love of others, and the potentially all-consuming darkness of this world. Plunged in this imperfect world and allowing the circumstances of our lives to determine our happiness and purpose, it becomes very easy to slowly ease into a perpetual state of depression, anxiety, unhappiness and despair. As Henry David Thoreau once observed in his memoir Walden, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”</div>
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And so when we stand before God with an earthly request, it is important that we understand ourselves as mere creatures of His. In the sequence of events that characterizes the creation account in genesis, God creates man in His image and likeness, breathes life into Him, and then puts him in the Garden of Eden so that he would till the garden. Putting him in the garden was the last step.</div>
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The purpose of our creation is not to merely till the land—mere robots without souls or spirits could have done the job a million times better than we do. Our purpose is, first and foremost, to be creations of God—to become united with Him the way a creator and a creation should be. Tilling the land is just something done in between; so whether or not there is land to till does not matter.</div>
Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6798928309468826770.post-18631743328433120492014-07-23T16:14:00.001-07:002014-07-25T09:26:56.641-07:00BOOK REVIEW AND FREE EBOOK! The Ladder of Divine Ascent, St. John Climacus<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieoo8_WEHKBkPtGPG_DE2u-nTHrrCN6XEr6VymGtJZhEjntn0I5FkIDUP15IrPMshYgjAW0aQ24lE4vFOmnLPMMNcmO7NaMeI49jeRzX4IPuMAze7O5bmfKCOtBS0kdzDR0dceMp8c7RPO/s1600/latter+of+divine+ascent.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieoo8_WEHKBkPtGPG_DE2u-nTHrrCN6XEr6VymGtJZhEjntn0I5FkIDUP15IrPMshYgjAW0aQ24lE4vFOmnLPMMNcmO7NaMeI49jeRzX4IPuMAze7O5bmfKCOtBS0kdzDR0dceMp8c7RPO/s1600/latter+of+divine+ascent.jpg" height="320" width="257" /></a></div>
As I promised long ago, I would include book reviews and book giveaways on this blog. <i>The Ladder of Divine Ascent</i> by St. John Climacus is very much a worthy book to be the first one featured. I read <i>The Ladder</i> during Great Lent, and it was an excellent aid in spiritual growth and understanding during the greatest spiritual season. This book is basically a cross between <i>Unseen Warfare</i> and <i>Sayings of the Desert Fathers</i>.<br />
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Some people might be intimidated to read the book, thinking that one can only pick it up when seriously endeavoring to study and ascend each step at a time. I do not think that is necessary. What I found is that reading <i>The Ladder</i> gave me a little foresight in what the spiritual journey ahead looks like; it is always good to look at a map to know where one is going.<br />
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The first 8 steps were especially helpful in understanding the monastic life. Anyone who is wondering whether monasticism is the right path for them should read at least the first 8 steps.<br />
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Steps 14, 16, and 19, which are on fasting, money, and worship in church respectively, are especially relevant for the lay believer. Particularly interesting is that St. John in the chapter on fasting writes about indulging in food during the Holy 50 Days.<br />
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Step 4 on obedience to a monastic spiritual father and step 26 on discernment of thoughts are the longest chapters in the book.<br />
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Step 18 on hypocrisy was particularly salient for me. It is a very helpful chapter in reflecting on one's dishonest spiritual thoughts.<br />
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Here is a link to a pdf of the book: <a href="http://www.prudencetrue.com/images/TheLadderofDivineAscent.pdf">http://www.prudencetrue.com/images/TheLadderofDivineAscent.pdf</a><br />
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PLEASE SHARE!<br />
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A good book speaks for itself, so below are a few passages. The entire book is amazing and deserves several re-reads:<br />
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<b>Step 3 – On exile or
pilgrimage</b><br />
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<span style="background: white;">Run from places of sin as
from the plague. For when fruit is not present, we have no frequent desire to
eat it.</span></blockquote>
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<b>Step 4 – On blessed and ever-memorable obedience</b><br />
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<span style="background: white;">At the gate of your heart
place strict and unsleeping guards. Control your wandering mind in your
distracted body. Amidst the actions and movements of your limbs, practise
mental quiet (hesychia). And, most paradoxical of all, in the midst of
commotion be unmoved in soul. Curb your tongue which rages to leap into
arguments.</span> </blockquote>
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<span style="background: white;">it is better to struggle with
thoughts than with conceit.</span> <span style="background: white;"></span></blockquote>
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<span style="background: white;"></span><span style="background: white;">Constantly wrestle with your
thought, and whenever it wanders call it back to you. God does not require from
those still under obedience prayer completely free of distractions. Do not
despond when your thoughts are filched, but remain calm, and unceasingly recall
your mind. Unbroken recollection is proper only to an angel.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;"></span><span style="background: white;">And I think the reason why
Lot was justified was because, though living among such people, he never seems
to have condemned them.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;"></span><span style="background: white;">A servant of the Lord is he
who in body stands before men, but in mind knocks at heaven with prayer.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;"></span><span style="background: white;">It is impossible for those
who learn a craft whole-heartedly not to make daily advance in it. But some
know their progress, while others by divine providence are ignorant of it. A
good banker never fails in the evening to reckon the day’s profit or loss. But
he cannot know this clearly unless he enters it every hour in his notebook. For
the hourly account brings to light the daily account.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;"></span><span style="background: white;">He who is running towards
dispassion and God regards as a great loss any day in which he is not reviled.
Just as trees swayed by the winds drive their roots deeply into the earth, so
those who live in obedience get strong and unshakable souls.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Step 5 – On painstaking
and true repentance which constitute the life of the holy convicts; and about
the prison<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">Repentance is the renewal of
baptism. Repentance is a contract with God for a second life. A penitent is a
buyer of humility. Repentance is constant distrust of bodily comfort.
Repentance is self condemning reflection, and carefree self-care. Repentance is
the daughter of hope and the renunciation of despair. A penitent is an
undisgraced convict. Repentance is reconciliation with the Lord by the practice
of good deeds contrary to the sins. Repentance is purification of conscience.
Repentance is the voluntary endurance of all afflictions. A penitent is the
inflicter of his own punishments. Repentance is a mighty persecution of the
stomach, and a striking of the soul into vigorous awareness.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">Let us kill it as it has
killed us.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">Nothing equals or excels
God’s mercies. Therefore he who despairs is committing suicide. A sign of true
repentance is the acknowledgement that we deserve all the troubles, visible and
invisible, that come to us, and even greater ones. Moses, after seeing God in
the bush, returned again to Egypt, that is to darkness and to the brick-making
of Pharaoh, symbolical of the spiritual pharaoh. But he went back again to the
bush, and not only to the bush but also up the mountain. Whoever has known
contemplation will never despair of himself. Job became a beggar, but he became
twice as rich again.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Step 6 – On remembrance
of death<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white;">Not every desire for death is
good. Some, constantly sinning from force of habit, pray for death with
humility. And some, who do not want to repent, invoke death out of despair. And
some, out of self-esteem consider themselves dispassionate, and for a while
have no fear of death. And some (if such can now be found) through the action
of the Holy Spirit long for their departure.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">There are many activities for
an active mind. I mean, meditation on the love of God, on the remembrance of
God, on the remembrance of the Kingdom, on the remembrance of the zeal of the
holy martyrs, on the remembrance of God Himself present, according to him who
said, ‘I saw the Lord before me,’ on remembrance of the holy and spiritual
powers, on remembrance of one’s departure, judgment, punishment and sentence.
We began with the sublime, but have ended with things that never fail.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Step 7 – On mourning
which causes joy<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">Repentance is the cheerful
deprival of every bodily comfort.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">He who sometimes mourns and
sometimes indulges in luxury and laughter is like one who stones the dog of
sensuality with bread. In appearance he is driving it away, but in fact he is
encouraging it to be constantly with him.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white;">He who in his heart is proud
of his tears, and secretly condemns those who do not weep, is like a man who
asks the king for a weapon against his enemy, and then commits suicide with it.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">When our soul leaves this
world we shall not be blamed for not having worked miracles, or for not having
been theologians or contemplatives. But we shall certainly have to give an
account to God of why we have not unceasingly mourned.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Step 8 – On freedom from anger and on meekness <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">If
you want, or rather intend, to take a splinter out of another person, then do
not hack at it with a stick instead of a lancet for you will only drive it
deeper. And this is a stick—rude speech and rough gestures. And this is a
lancet—tempered instruction and patient reprimand. ‘Reprove,’ says the Apostle,
‘rebuke, exhort,’ but he did not say ‘beat’. And if even this is required, do
it rarely, and not with your own hand (i.e. use the agency of another).</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Step 10 – On slander
or calumny<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">Fire and water are
incompatible; and so is judging others in one who wants to repent. If you see
someone falling into sin at the very moment of his death, even then do not
judge him, because the Divine judgment is hidden from men. Some have fallen
openly into great sins, but they have done greater good deeds in secret; so their
critics were tricked, getting smoke instead of the sun.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">A good grape-picker, who eats
the ripe grapes, will not start gathering unripe ones. A charitable and
sensible mind takes careful note of whatever virtues it sees in anyone. But a
fool looks for faults and defects.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Step 14 – On the
clamorous, yet wicked master – the stomach<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">Do not be deceived: you will
not be delivered from Pharaoh, and you will not see the heavenly Passover,
unless you continually eat bitter herbs and unleavened bread. And bitter
herbs—this is the coercion and pain of fasting; and unleavened bread—this is a
mind that is not puffed up. Let this be knit to your breathing, the word of him
who says: ‘But I, when demons troubled me, put on sackcloth, and humbled my
soul with fasting, and my prayer stuck to the bosom of my soul.’</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Step 15 – On
incorruptible purity and chastity to which the corruptible attain by toil and
sweat<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">Let no one thoroughly trained
in purity attribute its attainment to himself. For it is impossible for anyone
to conquer his own nature. When nature is defeated, it should be recognized
that this is due to the presence of Him who is above nature. For beyond all
dispute, the weaker gives way to the stronger.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">Who has conquered his body?
He who has crushed his heart. And who has crushed his heart? He who has denied
himself. For how can he not be crushed who has died to his own will?</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Step 16 – On love of
money or avarice<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">The beginning of love of
money is the pretext of almsgiving, and the end of it is hatred of the poor. So
long as he is collecting he is charitable, but when the money is in hand he
tightens his hold.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Step 18 – On insensiblity,
that is, deadening of the soul and the death of the mind before the death of
the body<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">He who has lost sensibility
is a brainless philosopher, a self-condemned commentator, a selfcontradictory
windbag, a blind man who teaches others to see. He talks about healing a wound,
and does not stop irritating it. He complains of sickness, and does not stop
eating what is harmful. He prays against it, and immediately goes and does it.
And when he has done it, he is angry with himself; and the wretched man is not
ashamed of his own words. ‘I am doing wrong,’ he cries, and eagerly continues
to do so. His mouth prays against his passion, and his body struggles for it.
He philosophises about death, but he behaves as if he were immortal. He groans
over the separation of soul and body, but drowses along as if he were eternal.
He talks of temperance and self-control, but he lives for gluttony. He reads
about the judgment and begins to smile. He reads about vainglory, and is
vainglorious while actually reading. He repeats what he has learnt about vigil,
and drops asleep on the spot. He praises prayer, but runs from it as from the
plague. He blesses obedience, but he is the first to disobey. He praises detachment,
but he is not ashamed to be spiteful and to fight for a rag. When angered he
gets bitter, and he is angered again at his bitterness; and he does not feel
that after one defeat he is suffering another. Having overeaten he repents, and
a little later again gives way to it. He blesses silence, and praises it with a
spate of words. He teaches meekness, and during the actual teaching frequently
gets angry. Having woken from passion he sighs, and shaking his head, he again
yields to passion. He condemns laughter, and lectures on mourning with a smile
on his face. Before others he blames himself for being vainglorious, and in
blaming himself is only angling for glory for himself. He looks people in the
face with passion, and talks about chastity. While frequenting the world, he
praises the solitary life, without realizing that he shames himself. He extols
almsgivers, and reviles beggars. All the time he is his own accuser, and he
does not want to come to his senses—I will not say cannot.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Step 19 – On sleep,
prayer, and psalm-singing in chapel<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">In singing with many it is
impossible to pray with the wordless prayer of the spirit. But your mind should
be engaged in contemplation of the words being chanted or read, or you should
say some definite prayer while you are waiting for the alternate verse to be
chanted.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Step 22 – On the many
forms of vainglory<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;"> It is not he who
depreciates himself who shows humility (for who will not put up with himself?)
but he who maintains the same love for the very man who reproaches him.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">The spirit of despair
rejoices at the sight of increasing vice, and the spirit of vainglory at the
sight of increasing virtue. The door of the first is a multitude of wounds, and
the door of the second is a wealth of labours.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Step 24 – On meekness,
simplicity, guilelessness which come not from nature but from habit, and about
malice<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">In meek hearts the Lord finds
rest, but a turbulent soul is a seat of the devil.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white;">A quiet soul makes room for
words of wisdom, for the Lord will guide the meek in judgment, rather, in
discretion.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Step 25 - On the destroyer of the passions, most
sublime humility, which is rooted in spiritual feeling.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">The foul fiend whispered
praise into the heart of an ascetic who was striving for blessed humility, but
by divine inspiration he contrived to conquer the guile of the spirits by a
pious ruse. He rose and wrote on the wall of his cell the names of the highest
virtues in order, that is: perfect love, angelic humility, pure prayer,
inviolable chastity and others like these. And so when thoughts of vainglory
began to praise him, he said to them: ‘Let us go and be judged.’ Then, going to
the wall, he read the names and cried to himself: ‘When you possess all these,
then you will know how far you still are from God!’</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white;">If the pride of some of the
angels made them demons, no doubt humility can make angels out of demons. So
those who have fallen may take courage!</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Step 26 - On discernment of thoughts, passions and
virtues<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">Those who have been humbled
by their passions may take courage. For even if they fall into every pit and
are trapped in all the snares and suffer all maladies, yet after their
restoration to health they become physicians, beacons, lamps, and pilots for
all, teaching us the habits of every disease and from their own personal
experience able to prevent their neighbours from falling.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">Vice or passion is not originally
planted in nature, for God is not the Creator of passions. But there are in us
many natural virtues from Him, among which are certainly the following: mercy,
for even the pagans are compassionate; love, for even dumb animals often weep
at the loss of one another; faith, for we all give birth to it of ourselves;
hope, for we lend, and sail, and sow, hoping for the best. So if, as has been
shown, love is a natural virtue in us, and is the bond and fulfilment of the
law, then it follows that the virtues are not far from nature. And those who
plead their inability to practise them ought to be ashamed.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">All creatures have received
from the Creator their order of being and their beginning, and some their end
too. But the end of virtue is infinite. For the Psalmist says: I have seen the
end of all perfection, but Thy commandment is exceedingly broad and boundless. If
some good ascetics pass from the strength of action to the strength of
contemplation, and if love never ceases, and if the Lord will guard the coming
in of your fear and the going out of your love, then from this it follows
that there is actually no limit to love. We shall never cease to advance in it,
either in the present or in the future life, continually adding light to light.
And however strange what I have said may seem to many, nevertheless it shall be
said. According to the testimonies we have given, I would say, blessed Father,
even the spiritual beings (i.e. the angels) do not lack progress; on the
contrary, they ever add glory to glory, and knowledge to knowledge.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">God is not the cause or the
creator of evil, and those who say that certain passions are natural to the
soul have been deceived not knowing that we have turned the constituent
qualities of nature into passions. For instance, nature gives us the seed for
childbearing, but we have perverted this into fornication. Nature provides us
with the means of showing anger against the serpent but we have used this
against our neighbour. Nature inspires us with zeal to make us compete for the
virtues, but we compete in evil. It is natural for the soul to desire glory,
but the glory on high. It is natural to be overbearing, but against the demons.
Joy is also natural to us, but a joy on account of the Lord and the welfare of
our neighbour. Nature has also given us resentment, but to be used against the
enemies of the soul. We have received a desire for pleasure, but not for
profligacy.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">Let us constantly guard against
admitting even the mere thought that we have attained to any good whatsoever;
and let us keep on looking carefully to see whether this is one of our
characteristics. If it is, then we shall know that we have utterly failed.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">As a snake cannot strip
itself of its old skin unless it crawls into a tight hole, neither can we shed
our old prejudices, our oldness of soul and the garment of the old man unless
we go by the strait and narrow way of fasting and dishonour.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">As steel is attracted to the
magnet even without meaning to be, for it is drawn by an inexplicable force of
nature, so he who has contracted sinful habits is tyrannized by them.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">As fire does not give birth
to snow, so those who seek honour here will not enjoy it there (in heaven).</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">
As by nature we cannot live without food, so up to the very moment of our death
we cannot, even for a second, give way to negligence.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">As
a blind man cannot see to walk, so a lazy man can neither see good nor do it.</span> </blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<b>Step 27 - On holy solitude of body and soul.</b><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">Solitude of the body is the
knowledge and reduction to order of the habits and feelings. And solitude of
soul is the knowledge of one’s thoughts and an inviolable mind.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">A friend of solitude is a
courageous and unrelenting power of thought which keeps constant vigil at the
doors of the heart and kills or repels the thoughts that come. He who is
solitary in the depth of his heart will understand this last remark; but he who
is still a child is unaware and ignorant of it.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Step 28 - On holy and blessed prayer, mother of
virtues, and on the attitude of mind and body in prayer.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">Try to lift up, or rather, to
shut off your thought within the words of your prayer, and if in its infant
state it wearies and falls, lift it up again. Instability is natural to the
mind, but God is powerful to establish everything. If you persevere
indefatigably in this labour, He who sets the bounds to the sea of the mind
will visit you too, and during your prayer will say to the waves: Thus far shalt
thou come and no further. Spirit cannot be bound; but where the Creator of the
spirit is, everything obeys.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">Soiled prayer is one thing,
its disappearance is another, robbery another, and defection another. Prayer is
soiled when we stand before God and picture to ourselves irrelevant and
inopportune thoughts. Prayer is lost when we are captured by useless cares.
Prayer is stolen from us when our thoughts wander before we realize it. Prayer
is spoilt by any kind of attack or interruption that comes to us at the time of
prayer.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">Rise from love of the world
and love of pleasure, lay aside cares, strip your mind, renounce your body;
because prayer is nothing other than estrangement from the world, visible and
invisible. For what have I in heaven? Nothing. And what have I desired on earth
beside Thee? Nothing, but to cling continually to Thee in prayer without
distraction. To some, wealth is pleasant, to others, glory, to others,
possessions, but my wish is to cling to God, and to put the hope of my
dispassion in Him.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white;">Though the judge did not fear
God, yet because a soul, widowed from Him through sin and a fall, troubles Him,
He will avenge her of her adversary, the body, and of the spirits who make war
upon her. Our good Redeemer attracts to His love those who are charitable by
the quick satisfaction of their petitions. But He makes thoughtless souls
remain in prayer before Him for a long time, in hunger and thirst for their
petition; for an ill-conditioned cur when once it gets its bread makes off with
it and leaves the giver.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">Have all courage, and you
will have God for your teacher in prayer. Just as it is impossible to learn to
see by word of mouth because seeing depends on one’s own natural sight, so it
is impossible to realize the beauty of prayer from the teaching of others.
Prayer has a Teacher all its own—God---who teaches man knowledge, and grants
the prayer of him who prays, and blesses the years of the just. Amen.</span></blockquote>
<b>Step 29 - Concerning heaven on earth, or godlike
dispassion and perfection, and the resurrection of the soul before the general
resurrection.</b><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">The firmament has the stars
for its beauty, and dispassion has the virtues for its adornments; for by
dispassion I mean no other than the interior heaven of the mind, which regards
the tricks of the demons as mere toys.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">If it is the height of
despondency, while living in complete peace, not to acquire patience, then it
is the height of patience to think of oneself even in affliction as being at
rest.</span></blockquote>
<b>Step 30 - Concerning the linking together of the supreme
trinity among the virtues.</b><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">And
now, finally, after all that we have said, there remain these three that bind
and secure the union of all, faith, hope, love; and the greatest of these is
love, for God Himself is so called. The first can make and create all things;
the divine mercy surrounds the second and makes it immune to disappointment;
the third does not fall, does not stop in its course and allows no respite to
him who is wounded by its blessed rapture.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background: white;">He who
says that he loves the Lord but is angry with his brother is like a man who
dreams that he is running.</span></blockquote>
<o:p></o:p>Martha A.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03355132925068706337noreply@blogger.com0