Wednesday, July 23, 2014

BOOK REVIEW AND FREE EBOOK! The Ladder of Divine Ascent, St. John Climacus

As I promised long ago, I would include book reviews and book giveaways on this blog.  The Ladder of Divine Ascent by St. John Climacus is very much a worthy book to be the first one featured.  I read The Ladder during Great Lent, and it was an excellent aid in spiritual growth and understanding during the greatest spiritual season. This book is basically a cross between Unseen Warfare and Sayings of the Desert Fathers.

Some people might be intimidated to read the book, thinking that one can only pick it up when seriously endeavoring to study and ascend each step at a time.  I do not think that is necessary.  What I found is that reading The Ladder gave me a little foresight in what the spiritual journey ahead looks like; it is always good to look at a map to know where one is going.

The first 8 steps were especially helpful in understanding the monastic life.  Anyone who is wondering whether monasticism is the right path for them should read at least the first 8 steps.

Steps 14, 16, and 19, which are on fasting, money, and worship in church respectively, are especially relevant for the lay believer.  Particularly interesting is that St. John in the chapter on fasting writes about indulging in food during the Holy 50 Days.

Step 4 on obedience to a monastic spiritual father and step 26 on discernment of thoughts are the longest chapters in the book.

Step 18 on hypocrisy was particularly salient for me.  It is a very helpful chapter in reflecting on one's dishonest spiritual thoughts.

Here is a link to a pdf of the book: http://www.prudencetrue.com/images/TheLadderofDivineAscent.pdf

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A good book speaks for itself, so below are a few passages.  The entire book is amazing and deserves several re-reads:

Step 3 – On exile or pilgrimage
Run from places of sin as from the plague. For when fruit is not present, we have no frequent desire to eat it.
Step 4 – On blessed and ever-memorable obedience
At the gate of your heart place strict and unsleeping guards. Control your wandering mind in your distracted body. Amidst the actions and movements of your limbs, practise mental quiet (hesychia). And, most paradoxical of all, in the midst of commotion be unmoved in soul. Curb your tongue which rages to leap into arguments. 
it is better to struggle with thoughts than with conceit. 
Constantly wrestle with your thought, and whenever it wanders call it back to you. God does not require from those still under obedience prayer completely free of distractions. Do not despond when your thoughts are filched, but remain calm, and unceasingly recall your mind. Unbroken recollection is proper only to an angel. 
And I think the reason why Lot was justified was because, though living among such people, he never seems to have condemned them. 
A servant of the Lord is he who in body stands before men, but in mind knocks at heaven with prayer. 
It is impossible for those who learn a craft whole-heartedly not to make daily advance in it. But some know their progress, while others by divine providence are ignorant of it. A good banker never fails in the evening to reckon the day’s profit or loss. But he cannot know this clearly unless he enters it every hour in his notebook. For the hourly account brings to light the daily account. 
He who is running towards dispassion and God regards as a great loss any day in which he is not reviled. Just as trees swayed by the winds drive their roots deeply into the earth, so those who live in obedience get strong and unshakable souls.
Step 5 – On painstaking and true repentance which constitute the life of the holy convicts; and about the prison
Repentance is the renewal of baptism. Repentance is a contract with God for a second life. A penitent is a buyer of humility. Repentance is constant distrust of bodily comfort. Repentance is self condemning reflection, and carefree self-care. Repentance is the daughter of hope and the renunciation of despair. A penitent is an undisgraced convict. Repentance is reconciliation with the Lord by the practice of good deeds contrary to the sins. Repentance is purification of conscience. Repentance is the voluntary endurance of all afflictions. A penitent is the inflicter of his own punishments. Repentance is a mighty persecution of the stomach, and a striking of the soul into vigorous awareness.
Let us kill it as it has killed us.
Nothing equals or excels God’s mercies. Therefore he who despairs is committing suicide. A sign of true repentance is the acknowledgement that we deserve all the troubles, visible and invisible, that come to us, and even greater ones. Moses, after seeing God in the bush, returned again to Egypt, that is to darkness and to the brick-making of Pharaoh, symbolical of the spiritual pharaoh. But he went back again to the bush, and not only to the bush but also up the mountain. Whoever has known contemplation will never despair of himself. Job became a beggar, but he became twice as rich again.
Step 6 – On remembrance of death
Not every desire for death is good. Some, constantly sinning from force of habit, pray for death with humility. And some, who do not want to repent, invoke death out of despair. And some, out of self-esteem consider themselves dispassionate, and for a while have no fear of death. And some (if such can now be found) through the action of the Holy Spirit long for their departure.
There are many activities for an active mind. I mean, meditation on the love of God, on the remembrance of God, on the remembrance of the Kingdom, on the remembrance of the zeal of the holy martyrs, on the remembrance of God Himself present, according to him who said, ‘I saw the Lord before me,’ on remembrance of the holy and spiritual powers, on remembrance of one’s departure, judgment, punishment and sentence. We began with the sublime, but have ended with things that never fail.
Step 7 – On mourning which causes joy
Repentance is the cheerful deprival of every bodily comfort.
He who sometimes mourns and sometimes indulges in luxury and laughter is like one who stones the dog of sensuality with bread. In appearance he is driving it away, but in fact he is encouraging it to be constantly with him.
He who in his heart is proud of his tears, and secretly condemns those who do not weep, is like a man who asks the king for a weapon against his enemy, and then commits suicide with it.
When our soul leaves this world we shall not be blamed for not having worked miracles, or for not having been theologians or contemplatives. But we shall certainly have to give an account to God of why we have not unceasingly mourned.
Step 8 – On freedom from anger and on meekness         
If you want, or rather intend, to take a splinter out of another person, then do not hack at it with a stick instead of a lancet for you will only drive it deeper. And this is a stick—rude speech and rough gestures. And this is a lancet—tempered instruction and patient reprimand. ‘Reprove,’ says the Apostle, ‘rebuke, exhort,’ but he did not say ‘beat’. And if even this is required, do it rarely, and not with your own hand (i.e. use the agency of another).
Step 10 – On slander or calumny
Fire and water are incompatible; and so is judging others in one who wants to repent. If you see someone falling into sin at the very moment of his death, even then do not judge him, because the Divine judgment is hidden from men. Some have fallen openly into great sins, but they have done greater good deeds in secret; so their critics were tricked, getting smoke instead of the sun.
A good grape-picker, who eats the ripe grapes, will not start gathering unripe ones. A charitable and sensible mind takes careful note of whatever virtues it sees in anyone. But a fool looks for faults and defects.
Step 14 – On the clamorous, yet wicked master – the stomach
Do not be deceived: you will not be delivered from Pharaoh, and you will not see the heavenly Passover, unless you continually eat bitter herbs and unleavened bread. And bitter herbs—this is the coercion and pain of fasting; and unleavened bread—this is a mind that is not puffed up. Let this be knit to your breathing, the word of him who says: ‘But I, when demons troubled me, put on sackcloth, and humbled my soul with fasting, and my prayer stuck to the bosom of my soul.’
Step 15 – On incorruptible purity and chastity to which the corruptible attain by toil and sweat
Let no one thoroughly trained in purity attribute its attainment to himself. For it is impossible for anyone to conquer his own nature. When nature is defeated, it should be recognized that this is due to the presence of Him who is above nature. For beyond all dispute, the weaker gives way to the stronger.
Who has conquered his body? He who has crushed his heart. And who has crushed his heart? He who has denied himself. For how can he not be crushed who has died to his own will?
Step 16 – On love of money or avarice
The beginning of love of money is the pretext of almsgiving, and the end of it is hatred of the poor. So long as he is collecting he is charitable, but when the money is in hand he tightens his hold.
Step 18 – On insensiblity, that is, deadening of the soul and the death of the mind before the death of the body
He who has lost sensibility is a brainless philosopher, a self-condemned commentator, a selfcontradictory windbag, a blind man who teaches others to see. He talks about healing a wound, and does not stop irritating it. He complains of sickness, and does not stop eating what is harmful. He prays against it, and immediately goes and does it. And when he has done it, he is angry with himself; and the wretched man is not ashamed of his own words. ‘I am doing wrong,’ he cries, and eagerly continues to do so. His mouth prays against his passion, and his body struggles for it. He philosophises about death, but he behaves as if he were immortal. He groans over the separation of soul and body, but drowses along as if he were eternal. He talks of temperance and self-control, but he lives for gluttony. He reads about the judgment and begins to smile. He reads about vainglory, and is vainglorious while actually reading. He repeats what he has learnt about vigil, and drops asleep on the spot. He praises prayer, but runs from it as from the plague. He blesses obedience, but he is the first to disobey. He praises detachment, but he is not ashamed to be spiteful and to fight for a rag. When angered he gets bitter, and he is angered again at his bitterness; and he does not feel that after one defeat he is suffering another. Having overeaten he repents, and a little later again gives way to it. He blesses silence, and praises it with a spate of words. He teaches meekness, and during the actual teaching frequently gets angry. Having woken from passion he sighs, and shaking his head, he again yields to passion. He condemns laughter, and lectures on mourning with a smile on his face. Before others he blames himself for being vainglorious, and in blaming himself is only angling for glory for himself. He looks people in the face with passion, and talks about chastity. While frequenting the world, he praises the solitary life, without realizing that he shames himself. He extols almsgivers, and reviles beggars. All the time he is his own accuser, and he does not want to come to his senses—I will not say cannot.
Step 19 – On sleep, prayer, and psalm-singing in chapel
In singing with many it is impossible to pray with the wordless prayer of the spirit. But your mind should be engaged in contemplation of the words being chanted or read, or you should say some definite prayer while you are waiting for the alternate verse to be chanted.
Step 22 – On the many forms of vainglory
 It is not he who depreciates himself who shows humility (for who will not put up with himself?) but he who maintains the same love for the very man who reproaches him.
The spirit of despair rejoices at the sight of increasing vice, and the spirit of vainglory at the sight of increasing virtue. The door of the first is a multitude of wounds, and the door of the second is a wealth of labours.
Step 24 – On meekness, simplicity, guilelessness which come not from nature but from habit, and about malice
In meek hearts the Lord finds rest, but a turbulent soul is a seat of the devil.
A quiet soul makes room for words of wisdom, for the Lord will guide the meek in judgment, rather, in discretion.
Step 25 - On the destroyer of the passions, most sublime humility, which is rooted in spiritual feeling.
The foul fiend whispered praise into the heart of an ascetic who was striving for blessed humility, but by divine inspiration he contrived to conquer the guile of the spirits by a pious ruse. He rose and wrote on the wall of his cell the names of the highest virtues in order, that is: perfect love, angelic humility, pure prayer, inviolable chastity and others like these. And so when thoughts of vainglory began to praise him, he said to them: ‘Let us go and be judged.’ Then, going to the wall, he read the names and cried to himself: ‘When you possess all these, then you will know how far you still are from God!’ 
If the pride of some of the angels made them demons, no doubt humility can make angels out of demons. So those who have fallen may take courage!
Step 26 - On discernment of thoughts, passions and virtues
Those who have been humbled by their passions may take courage. For even if they fall into every pit and are trapped in all the snares and suffer all maladies, yet after their restoration to health they become physicians, beacons, lamps, and pilots for all, teaching us the habits of every disease and from their own personal experience able to prevent their neighbours from falling.
Vice or passion is not originally planted in nature, for God is not the Creator of passions. But there are in us many natural virtues from Him, among which are certainly the following: mercy, for even the pagans are compassionate; love, for even dumb animals often weep at the loss of one another; faith, for we all give birth to it of ourselves; hope, for we lend, and sail, and sow, hoping for the best. So if, as has been shown, love is a natural virtue in us, and is the bond and fulfilment of the law, then it follows that the virtues are not far from nature. And those who plead their inability to practise them ought to be ashamed.
All creatures have received from the Creator their order of being and their beginning, and some their end too. But the end of virtue is infinite. For the Psalmist says: I have seen the end of all perfection, but Thy commandment is exceedingly broad and boundless. If some good ascetics pass from the strength of action to the strength of contemplation, and if love never ceases, and if the Lord will guard the coming in of your fear and the going out of your love, then from this it follows that there is actually no limit to love. We shall never cease to advance in it, either in the present or in the future life, continually adding light to light. And however strange what I have said may seem to many, nevertheless it shall be said. According to the testimonies we have given, I would say, blessed Father, even the spiritual beings (i.e. the angels) do not lack progress; on the contrary, they ever add glory to glory, and knowledge to knowledge.
God is not the cause or the creator of evil, and those who say that certain passions are natural to the soul have been deceived not knowing that we have turned the constituent qualities of nature into passions. For instance, nature gives us the seed for childbearing, but we have perverted this into fornication. Nature provides us with the means of showing anger against the serpent but we have used this against our neighbour. Nature inspires us with zeal to make us compete for the virtues, but we compete in evil. It is natural for the soul to desire glory, but the glory on high. It is natural to be overbearing, but against the demons. Joy is also natural to us, but a joy on account of the Lord and the welfare of our neighbour. Nature has also given us resentment, but to be used against the enemies of the soul. We have received a desire for pleasure, but not for profligacy.
Let us constantly guard against admitting even the mere thought that we have attained to any good whatsoever; and let us keep on looking carefully to see whether this is one of our characteristics. If it is, then we shall know that we have utterly failed.
As a snake cannot strip itself of its old skin unless it crawls into a tight hole, neither can we shed our old prejudices, our oldness of soul and the garment of the old man unless we go by the strait and narrow way of fasting and dishonour.
As steel is attracted to the magnet even without meaning to be, for it is drawn by an inexplicable force of nature, so he who has contracted sinful habits is tyrannized by them.
As fire does not give birth to snow, so those who seek honour here will not enjoy it there (in heaven).
As by nature we cannot live without food, so up to the very moment of our death we cannot, even for a second, give way to negligence. 
As a blind man cannot see to walk, so a lazy man can neither see good nor do it.      
Step 27 - On holy solitude of body and soul.
Solitude of the body is the knowledge and reduction to order of the habits and feelings. And solitude of soul is the knowledge of one’s thoughts and an inviolable mind.
A friend of solitude is a courageous and unrelenting power of thought which keeps constant vigil at the doors of the heart and kills or repels the thoughts that come. He who is solitary in the depth of his heart will understand this last remark; but he who is still a child is unaware and ignorant of it.
Step 28 - On holy and blessed prayer, mother of virtues, and on the attitude of mind and body in prayer.
Try to lift up, or rather, to shut off your thought within the words of your prayer, and if in its infant state it wearies and falls, lift it up again. Instability is natural to the mind, but God is powerful to establish everything. If you persevere indefatigably in this labour, He who sets the bounds to the sea of the mind will visit you too, and during your prayer will say to the waves: Thus far shalt thou come and no further. Spirit cannot be bound; but where the Creator of the spirit is, everything obeys.
Soiled prayer is one thing, its disappearance is another, robbery another, and defection another. Prayer is soiled when we stand before God and picture to ourselves irrelevant and inopportune thoughts. Prayer is lost when we are captured by useless cares. Prayer is stolen from us when our thoughts wander before we realize it. Prayer is spoilt by any kind of attack or interruption that comes to us at the time of prayer.
Rise from love of the world and love of pleasure, lay aside cares, strip your mind, renounce your body; because prayer is nothing other than estrangement from the world, visible and invisible. For what have I in heaven? Nothing. And what have I desired on earth beside Thee? Nothing, but to cling continually to Thee in prayer without distraction. To some, wealth is pleasant, to others, glory, to others, possessions, but my wish is to cling to God, and to put the hope of my dispassion in Him. 
Though the judge did not fear God, yet because a soul, widowed from Him through sin and a fall, troubles Him, He will avenge her of her adversary, the body, and of the spirits who make war upon her. Our good Redeemer attracts to His love those who are charitable by the quick satisfaction of their petitions. But He makes thoughtless souls remain in prayer before Him for a long time, in hunger and thirst for their petition; for an ill-conditioned cur when once it gets its bread makes off with it and leaves the giver.
Have all courage, and you will have God for your teacher in prayer. Just as it is impossible to learn to see by word of mouth because seeing depends on one’s own natural sight, so it is impossible to realize the beauty of prayer from the teaching of others. Prayer has a Teacher all its own—God---who teaches man knowledge, and grants the prayer of him who prays, and blesses the years of the just. Amen.
Step 29 - Concerning heaven on earth, or godlike dispassion and perfection, and the resurrection of the soul before the general resurrection.
The firmament has the stars for its beauty, and dispassion has the virtues for its adornments; for by dispassion I mean no other than the interior heaven of the mind, which regards the tricks of the demons as mere toys.
If it is the height of despondency, while living in complete peace, not to acquire patience, then it is the height of patience to think of oneself even in affliction as being at rest.
Step 30 - Concerning the linking together of the supreme trinity among the virtues.
And now, finally, after all that we have said, there remain these three that bind and secure the union of all, faith, hope, love; and the greatest of these is love, for God Himself is so called. The first can make and create all things; the divine mercy surrounds the second and makes it immune to disappointment; the third does not fall, does not stop in its course and allows no respite to him who is wounded by its blessed rapture.
He who says that he loves the Lord but is angry with his brother is like a man who dreams that he is running.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

My Thoughts on the Apostle's Fast

Many people who read this might not be fasting and might think I'm judging them.  Well, yes, I'm judging you, but it's because I love you.

Fasting the Apostle's fast sucks, but in many ways I think it is the most real fast.  It sucks because it is always in the summer when all you want to do is eat ice cream and barbecue.  Us Americans can't even celebrate Independence Day properly because we can never have hot dogs and burgers and funnel cakes and whatever else.  It is also after a gluttonous Holy 50 Days when we have completely destroyed our self control and forgotten all the spiritual fruits we reaped during Lent and have to start from square one.  But this is the real test of our faith, isn't it?  To abstain from our desires when it is the hardest to abstain, when the culture around us is tempting us the most not to abstain.

And really, what is the point of the Apostle's fast?  Jesus is already gone, are we doing it for the Holy Spirit or for the apostles?  Or are we doing it in the name of "mission" for the future of our church, which is an even more abstract concept?  In all cases, it is ephemeral.  Every other fast is directly related to Christ, even St. Mary's fast is more related to Christ than the Apostle's fast.  This is also a real test of our faith, when we are supposed to fast or do things for others.  It is easy to do things when we are doing it directly for God, but it is harder to do them when we are indirectly doing it for God.  And that is the bulk of our life.  Remembering that we are dealing with annoying coworkers/family members/friends and working so hard and trying our best, all for God.

Maybe during the Holy 50 Days we have to pace ourselves and prepare ourselves for the Apostle's fast, rather than blowing it off and creating our own Holy(?) 100 Days.

If you are feeling guilty for not fasting, good.  But it is never too late to start fasting.  Do not despair.  There is one more week left of the Apostle's fast, and you should fast it.  You will be glad you did it.