Saturday, November 22, 2014

Singles Negativity

I think this issue sincerely needs to be addressed, especially among young single Coptic women.

Can we just stop pitying ourselves?  Can we stop being so insecure thinking that we are never going to find good men?  Can we stop thinking there is no such thing as a real man anymore who will make a good father and husband?  Can we stop thinking that making yourself attractive means being forced to be fake?  Can we stop thinking that God is not guiding our lives and does not want good gifts for His children?  And can we stop thinking that the problem is completely outside of us?

A friend getting engaged or married should not make you insecure and loath yourself.  You should just be genuinely happy for them.  Marriage is a tough path meant for salvation, and you think salvation is an easy thing?  There is a reason St. Paul said it is worked out with fear and trembling.  They have a long road of beating the flaws out of each other and struggling to raise kids in a confused and tumultuous and ungodly world.  The grass is not always greener on the other side.  The moment you have a "woe-is-me-why-does-no-one-like-me" thought, use that as a trigger to say a prayer for them and snap back to reality.

Don't think your complaining about loneliness and feeling like there is no one out there for you doesn't affect anyone.  It oozes out and makes all your fellow sisters second guess their contentedness.  Not only that, but the more we have a negative view of men, the more blind we will become to seeing the good men.

Regardless of how stupid the men are around us, let us be thankful that they exist.  God didn't make a mistake putting them here.  And the single most important and effective thing we can do is pray for them.  It is freaking hard being a real man in this society when all it wants to do is stunt your growth.  God wants their salvation, wants what is best for them, and wants to guide their hearts obviously more than anyone, so who am I to wag my finger and look up at the sky with skepticism at His work?

Let's be THANKFUL for this time in our lives where we can focus on our own individual flourishing.   Christ told us to take the planks out of our own eyes first.  May God never send any man my way until I am spiritually mature and prepared to raise children in His fear.


  1. I LOVE THIS post, especially your last paragraph.

    1. Aw thanks Phoebe! You're certainly a great example to me for the last paragraph :-)